Saturday's Stories

The first Saturday of the college football season is in the books. There were a bevy of nauseatingly boring games with which to choose from. As week 1 draws nearer to it's close, I would like to take a look at the top stories from Saturday.


Injured RB's.









A few teams had their opening season victories dampened by injuries to their top tailbacks. Ohio St. throttled Youngstown St. In a game that should have been headlined by Terrelle Pryor's first touchdown, Beanie Well's injury stole the show. Well's went down with a foot injury in the third quarter while attempting to score on the vaunted Penguin defense.

Georgia's Knowshon Moreno was also hit with the injury bug. Moreno left the game after grabbing his hamstring during a touchdown run against Georgia Southern. Moreno's injury does not seem to be very serious and he should be back in the lineup by next week.

Ohio St. will most likely sit Wells out of next week's historic match up vs. in state rival Ohio. This should give Beanie enough time to recoup before the USC game.



Upsets










While there were no monumental upsets like Appalachian St. over Michigan this week. There were a few games that turned some heads and caused a general "huh?" reaction from fans.

East Carolina pulled off probably the biggest upset of the week by knocking off 17th ranked Virginia Tech in Charlotte. ECU scored the go ahead touchdown by, ironically enough, blocking a Va Tech punt and returning it for a touchdown. I think Skip Holtz just bought himself a better job this off season.

Bowling Green also drank from the upset kool-aid Saturday. The Falcons defeated Dave Wannstedt's Pittsburgh team. The Panthers seem to be battling with Clemson for the title of most overly hyped underperfoming team in America. After Clemson's loss to Alabama, it's a toss up.

Most people didn't see the Texas A&M loss to Arkansas St. late Saturday night. The Red Wolves spoiled TAMU's new head coach Mike Sherman's debut. I don't care how big a rebuilding year this is for the Aggies, there's no way they should ever lose to Arkansas. St.

Mississippi St. became the first SEC team of the season to lose. Louisiana Tech won the battle of the Bulldogs Saturday night. The win was the first one for La Tech over a BCS opponent in Ruston ever. I hope this doesn't start a trend for Sly Croom's bunch.

I would include Utah over Michigan, but I don't consider that an upset. The Utes proved they were a superior team with superior players in Ann Arbor. RichRod has a lot of work to do with his bunch. On the bright side, I think the Wolverines have found their starting QB in Steven Threet.


Coaching Debuts














I've already talked about the losing debuts of Mike Sherman at Texas A&M and Rich Rodriguez at Michigan, respectively. A few other coaches made their debut with their teams on Saturday. Here's how they fared:

Greg McMackin, Hawaii - Got stomped by the Gators 56-10.

Bill Stewart, West Virginia - Defeated Villanova with the best passing performance of Pat White's career.


Paul Wulff, Wasshington St. - Lost to Oklahoma St. in Seattle. Wazzou fans are already booing the new regime.

Ken Niumatalolo, Navy - His Midshipmen throttled Towson in Annapolis.

Bobby Petrino, Arkansas - Barely won against 1-aa Western Illinois. I was hoping for the upset all the way through. If Arkansas continues that level of play, they will be horrendous this season.

Jerry Kill, Northern Illinois - Almost pulled off the mild upset against the worst BCS team in the nation, Minnesota.

Houston Nutt, Ole Miss - The Rebels manhandled rival Memphis in a game that I thought would be a lot closer.

David Cutcliffe, Duke - Defeated James Madison. Hey, at Duke, a win's a win.

Bo Pelini, Nebraska - Destroyed Western Michigan at home.

Kevin Sumlin, Houston - Won big against Southern. His Cougars are looking very sharp.

Larry Fedora, Southern Miss - Defeated Louisiana-Lafayette. Real test comes next week.

Thursday Recap

Thursday officially marked the first day of the college football season. It also marked the first of many fights I will have with my wife over the viewing of said college football. She's got to understand there's a certain order for my priorities in life right now:

1. Me.
2. College Football
3. My entertainment
4. Family.

That seems about right. How could she get mad at me? Anyway, here's a brief recap on the happenings around college football Thursday night.

ESPN showcased the North Carolina St. v. South Carolina match-up. The Gators weren't involved in this one but it sure seemed like it. UF references were made throughout the game with the OBC on the Cock sideline, Jesse Palmer in the booth and Erin Andrews reporting. In case you were in a comma last night, Palmer played QB for Spurrier at Florida. Chris Fowler must have mentioned that fact 40 times. Also, all the references to Palmer being on the Bachelor are very unnecessary.

The actual game was a complete douche fest. SC QB Tommy Beecher threw four picks and the OBC never once slammed his visor! What kind of shit is that? Also, the refs are taking this whole new celebration rule enforcement thing a little too seriously. I mean, giving a guy a penalty because he's doing push-ups after missing an int? That's a little ridiculous.

It's safe to say Jim Harbaugh has done a tremendous job of getting the Stanford Cardinal back to being competitive. Stanford pulled off a mild upset by defeating the Oregon St. Beavers late last night. The Cardinal have a RB named Toby Gerhart that is the real deal. This guy is big and has deceptive speed. The way he broke through Beaver tackles made you think Ron Zook was the OSU coach.

Both of the Miamis were in action last night. Miami(FL) wooped up on Charleston Southern behind QB Jacory Harris. Miami(OH) faltered at home against the almighty Vanderbilt Commodores. By the way, Vandy CB D.J. Moore is a legitimate All-American candidate. I would like to hear any of his doubters now.

Wake Forest got their first ever victory in the state of Texas by knocking off Baylor. Wake is a dark horse national title contender this season. If Riley Skinner can keep producing, the Deacs are capable of running through the weak ACC. Baylor dual threat QB Robert Griffin II was very impressive running the ball. Passing.....not so much.

Eastern Michigan won! That almost never happens.

Cincinnati and Connecticut both looked rather impressive while beating up on 1-aa teams. I think Cincinnati will surprise some people this year. Brian Kelly is a vastly underrated coach. Kelly's old team, Central Michigan, also got a win last night. Let the Dan LeFevour Heisman hype begin!

ESPN probably has the worst pre-game/halftime show crew ever. I love Lou Holtz, but these horrible gimmicks they make him do are ridiculous. The pep talk segments last year were a monumental flop. That shit fest looks like Emmy winning material compared to the new Dr. Lou crap they're trying to shove down our throats this season. Also, I hate Mark May. He sucks.

Can't wait for Saturday.

Countdown!

'Twas the day before football, when all through the land
Everyone was stirring, especially CFB fans;

The helmets were hung by the lockers with care,
In hopes that gameday soon would be there;

The cheerleaders were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of touchdowns danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'jersey, and I in my hat,
Had just settled down for a long fall’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-cut grass
Gave the lustre of mid-day to OSU fan’s ass,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature horse, and an Indian with a spear,
With an old time coach, so dagummit lively,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Bobby.
More rapid than War Eagles his players they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Tebow! now, Daniel! now, Moreno and Harvin!
On, Wells! on Bradford! on, Harrell and Garvin!
To the back of the end zone! Go get that ball !
Now sprint away! sprint away! sprint away all!
"As dry leaves that before the Miami Hurricanes fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, on their backs they will lie,
So up to the field the players they ran,
With pads on their shoulders, and a football in their hands.

And then, in an instant, I heard on the tube.
The yelling and screaming of the Gameday Crew.
As I looked at the screen, and was turning around,
Through the door St. Bobby came with a bound.
He was dressed all in garnet, from his shoes to his shirt,
And his golf hat was tarnished with ashes and dirt;
A bunch of players he had suspended from his team,
And he looked like a skeleton from some sort of bad dream.
His eyes -- how they glazed! his dimples how wrinkly!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose was so crinkly!
His droll gaping mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And he looked like he was chasing Joe Paterno;
The combing of a playbook he held in his hand,
And the scribbling all over it made it hard to comprehend;

He had a broad face and a big round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old fart,
And I cringed when I saw him, ‘Cus I’m a Gator at heart;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know the ‘Noles were nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled out the playbook; then left like a jerk,
And laying his finger on top of his nose,
He pointed to a breathe-right strip, for health reasons I suppose;
He sprang to his car, to his team gave a Yo!,
And away they all fled like Geno Hayes at the sight of Tebow.


But I heard him exclaim, as he drove away,

"College football starts tomorrow, Dagummit, watch every play!."

Weekly Picks

I will be making picks every week throughout the CFB season. This, of course, is the first edition. Week 1 just might be the easiest week to predict because most schools throughout the country have scheduled a pansy for week 1.

Then again, we saw how unpredictable week 1 was last year.

If you have picks of your own, leave them in a comment or e-mail them to me. If you somehow pull some luck out of your ass and do better than I do, I'll post your picks after all the games are through.

Here are my picks for this week:

	AWAY	MY PICK
Ball St.	Northeastern	Ball St.
Buffalo	UTEP	UTEP
Central Michigan	Eastern Illinois	Central Michigan
Eastern Michigan	Indiana St.	Eastern Michigan
Connecticut	Hofstra	Connecticut
Georgia Tech	Jacksonville St.	Georgia Tech
Miami(OH)	Vanderbilt	Vanderbilt
Cincinnati	Eastern Kentucky	Cincinnati
Miami(FL)	Charleston Southern	Miami(FL)
Middle Tennessee	Troy	Troy
Baylor	Wake Forest	Wake Forest
Iowa St.	South Dakota St.	Iowa St.
South Carolina	North Carolina St.	South Carolina
Stanford	Oregon St.	Oregon St.
Army	Temple	Temple
Rice	SMU	SMU
Ohio St.	Youngstown St.	Ohio St.
Wisconsin	Akron	Wisconsin
East Carolina	Virginia Tech	Virginia Tech
Penn St.	Coastal Carolina	Penn St.
Pittsburgh	Bowling Green	Pittsburgh
Northwestern	Syracuse	Northwestern
Indiana	Western Kentucky	Indiana
Iowa	Maine	Iowa
Georgia	Georgia Southern	Georgia
Florida	Hawaii	Florida
Air Force	Southern Utah	Air Force
Wyoming	Ohio	Wyoming
Virginia	USC	USC
West Virginia	Villanova	West Virginia
Michigan	Utah	Utah
Washington St.	Oklahoma St.	Oklahoma St.
Navy	Towson	Navy
Maryland	Delaware	Maryland
UAB	Tulsa	Tulsa
Marshall	Illinois St.	Marshall
LSU	Appalachian St.	LSU
BYU	Northern Iowa	BYU
North Carolina	McNeese St.	North Carolina
New Mexico	TCU	TCU
UCF	South Carolina St.	UCF
Louisiana Tech	Mississippi St.	Mississippi St.
Oklahoma	Chattanooga	Oklahoma
Auburn	UL-Monroe	Auburn
Texas	Florida Atlantic	Texas
Texas Tech	Eastern Washington	Texas Tech
Kansas	Florida International	Kansas
Arkansas	Western Illinois	Arkansas
Minnesota	Northern Illinois	Minnesota
Ole Miss	Memphis	Ole Miss
Duke	James Madison	Duke
Nebraska	Western Michigan	Nebraska
Texas A&M	Arkansas St.	Texas A&M
Houston	Southern	Houston
Southern Miss	UL-Lafayette	Southern Miss
Kansas St.	North Texas	Kansas St.
South Florida	UT-Martin	South Florida
Kent St.	Boston College	Boston College
Clemson	Alabama	Clemson
San Jose St.	UC-Davis	San Jose St.
California	Michigan St.	Michigan St.
Boise St.	Idaho St.	Boise St.
Missouri	Illinois	Missouri
Nevada	Grambling	Nevada
San Diego St.	Cal Poly	San Diego St.
Arizona St.	Northern Arizona	Arizona St.
Oregon	Washington	Washington
Arizona	Idaho	Arizona
UNLV	Utah St.	UNLV
Louisville	Kentucky	Louisville
Colorado	Colorado St.	Colorado
Rutgers	Fresno St.	Rutgers
UCLA	Tennessee	Tennessee