Battle for Inferiority

VS.













Last nights demolishing of Rutgers at the hands of North Carolina was the latest epic event in the battle between the Big East and the ACC for the title of the worst conference in America.

Notice I didn't just say BCS conference. These two pathetic excuses of a collection of "teams" are the worst conferences, period. The Sun Belt, WAC and C-USA all have teams that would ruin some shit in these douche infested leagues.

The first week brought a lot of attention to the shittiness of the ACC. All anyone talked about was how horrible the ACC was, and rightfully so. However, I'm not so sure the Atlantic Coast shit fest is the clear cut favorite for the worst conference award anymore. In enters, the Big East.

The Big East used to affectionately be called the Big Least by all the other major conferences. They took a massive hit after the departure of Miami, Virginia Tech and Boston College to the aforementioned ACC. However, with the emergence of West Virginia and Louisville (and most recently,South Florida) as national players, it seemed the Big Least was becoming the Big Beast. They even felt so good about themselves they kicked poor ol' Temple out of the conference.

Now the Big East is back to sucking ass and Temple looks like a team that could contend for the Big East title.

Time for a little tale of the tape action between the two conferences.

First up, the Big East.


1. South Florida

• Good News- The Bulls seem to be the class of the conference right now. They are 2-0 and are the highest ranked team in the Big East. USF is also coming off a season in which they climbed as high as number 2 in the polls. Of course, they immediately choked as soon as they reached their pinnacle and began to tart looking like every other Big East squad.
• Bad News- South Florida needed overtime to beat a struggling Central Florida team last week. They have absolutely NO kicker and their QB always seems to make bad decisions in big games. They face a stiff challenge tonight against the Kansas Jayhawks in Tampa.

2. Connecticut

• Good News- Huskies coach Randy Edsall will most likely be a hot commodity in the off season. Connecticut burst on to the scene last season with a surprisingly good football team. They have also come out of the gates to a 2-0 start this season.
• Bad News- Like South Florida,UCONN needed overtime to beat an inferior opponent in Temple last week. Things could get a lot worse next season if Edsall bolts for a bigger program.

3. West Virginia

• Good News- The Mountaineers have been the dominant Big East team in recent seasons. This year, there was a lot of hype around this team with stars like Pat White and Noel Devine returning. They also have one of the better homefield advantages in the conference.
• Bad News- West Virginia didn't look all that impressive in their opening win over Villanova. They looked even worse during last week's loss to East Carolina. Bill Stewart probably won't last longer than two years in Morgantown, and Noel Devine is bound to be arrested soon.

4. Cincinnati

• Good News- Cincinnati is another team with a great coach in Brian Kelly. They also have a lot of depth at the more important positions, including QB. They were able to hang tough with Oklahoma last week until their Big East heritage began to shine through.
• Bad News- The second half of the OU game was a disaster. Good thing they have depth at QB, because starter Dustin Grutza is banged up.

5. Pittsburgh

• Good News- They have LeSean Mcoy.
• Bad News- McCoy hasn't done dick so far this season. Dave Wannstedt is their head coach, and they lost to a MAC team.

6. Louisville

• Good News- The Cardinals still have a loyal fan base despite recent struggles. I truly believe that Hunter Cantwell and this Louisville offense will get things going and return to a bowl game. Who knows, with the way the rest of the teams are playing, the 'Ville could even make a run at the conference crown.
• Bad News- They only netted a safety in their opening game thrashing by Kentucky. Up until this point, Cantwell and the offense have looked really bad. Also, it can't be easy for Steve Kragthorpe to coach when he's always looking over his shoulder.

7. Rutgers

• Good News- There is none.
• Bad News- They have 10 more games this season.

8. Syracuse

• Good News- Greg Robinson will be fired soon. Hopefully.
• Bad News- Greg Robinson, as of this moment, is still the coach.

Now it's the ACC's turn.

Atlantic

1. Wake Forest

• Good News- Wake has easily been the best team in the ACC so far this season. They are 2-0 and are lead by Heisman hopeful Riley Skinner. They also have one of the best coaches in America in Jim Grobe.
• Bad News- They almost lost to middle of the road Ole Miss last week. Then again, Ole Miss would probably be the favorite to win the ACC this year.

2. Florida St.

• Good News- The Seminoles looked pretty good in their first game. Even though it was against Western Carolina.
• Bad News- They have no quarterback play to speak of. Bobby Bowden is fading as a figurehead. The NCAA is getting closer and closer to dropping the hammer on this program.

3. Clemson

• Good News- Clemson has a ton of athletes. Both sides of the ball are littered with future NFL players. They have one of the better backfields in the country with James Davis and C.J. Spiller.
• Bad News- Clemson always seems to stumble on their own vaginas in games they're supposed to win. Tommy Bowden is not a very good coach. Also, their will probably be a mass exodus of talent from Clemson in the off season. This was probably their last shot at a NC.

4. Boston College

• Good News- The Red Sox will be in the playoffs again. Maybe that will take away some of the attention from this program. Although, the Eagles should make it back to a bowl game.
• Bad News- Matt Ryan is now a Falcon, and the Eagles have set the bar for expectations a little to high for their program to meet on a consistent basis. Getting run through by Georgia Tech last week didn't help them.

5. North Carolina St.

• Good News- Tom O'Brien is a solid coach. Once the Wolfpack get their quarterback situation figured out (which will probably be next year) they should be back competing for the ACC title.
• Bad News- Their quarterback play right now is ass awful. During their week 1 loss to South Carlina, they made the 'Cock QB's look like NFL Hall of Famers.

6. Maryland

• Good News- They get all kinds of free crap from under armour.
• Bad News- Ralph Friedgen is no longer a good coach. They barely beat Delaware in week 1 and lost to Middle Tennessee in week 2. There's almost no D-1 team that has had a worse 2 games in the nation.

Coastal

1. Georgia Tech

• Good News- The Yellow Jackets have looked pretty solid under new coach Paul Johnson. His triple option attack has looked flawless against J-Ville St. and Boston College in the first two weeks.
• Bad News- Teams should figure out how to stop the triple option pretty soon. Once that happens, Tech is screwed. They don't rally have a passing game to speak of. Or at least, they haven't shown it yet.

2. North Carolina

• Good News- They just annihilated Rutgers last night. I don't know what that counts for but it was an impressive win.
• Bad News- They barely beat McNeese St. in week 1. Hey, North Carolina vs. Duke might be a big game in the ACC this year.

3. Miami

• Good News- Miami looked impressive against Charleston Southern in week 1. They also looked solid in their defeat to the awesomeness that is Florida in week 2. Sean Spence is a star in the making.
• Bad News- Randy Shannon won't stop crying long enough to game plan for their next opponent. Maybe he should stop worrying so much about the Gators' offense and work with his Hurricane defense.

4. Virginia Tech

• Good News- They have a 1 game winning streak heading into week 3.
• Bad News- That streak could end against Paul Johnson's Yellow jackets. Sean Glennon and Tyrod Taylor are not D-1 QB's. You knew this was going to be a long season when the Hokies lost to East Carolina on a blocked punt.

5. Duke

• Good News- Duke has already won a game this season! Also, David Cutcliffe is probably the best coach outside of Jim Grobe in the ACC.
• Bad News- Duke is still Duke when it comes to football. They're just not very good. Which means they fit right in with the rest of the conference.

6. Virginia

• Good News- Thanks to their loss to ESPN's personal spank bank in week 1, they have received a lot of national exposure.
• Bad News- After being torched by USC, they then went out and played a clunker against Richmond. Not a good start for the Cavs.

So there's your arguments between the two conferences. I'm not so sure which one is the worse in America. It's a close race. Or crawl.