Ultimate Fantasy League- The Conferences

As I previously mentioned, there will be 7 glorious conferences partaking in my ingenious concoction of a football league. Each conference will consist of 2 divisions made up of 6 teams. Obviously, I had to move some teams around to make this work. Here's what I came up with.

SEC








East

1. Florida
2. Georgia
3. Tennessee
4. South Carolina
5. Clemson
6. Georgia Tech

West

1. Alabama
2. Auburn
3. LSU
4. Mississippi St.
5. Ole Miss
6. Kentucky

Now tell m that doesn't look like a bad ass conference.

What's New and why: I got rid of Vanderbilt due to the fact that they can't field a competitive team in the SEC. They should have stuck to the Magnolia Conference. I also did away with Arkansas, mainly for geographic reasons. Arkansas is nowhere near the other teams in the SEC. They make much more since in another conference. I moved Kentucky to the West to make room for the 2 new teams, Georgia Tech and Clemson. Both teams come over from the ACC and both will be joining their in-state rivals in the East. Now the Georgia-Georgia Tech and South Carolina-Clemson game will have even greater ramifications. If something this incredibly awesome were to happen in real life, the SEC teams would be given a waiver by the NCAA to schedule all D-III schools for out-of-conference opponents. But that ain't happening in this league...


Big XII

North

1. Colorado
2. Missouri
3. Kansas
4. Kansas St.
5. Nebraska
6. Arkansas

South

1. Oklahoma
2. Texas
3. Texas Tech
4. Texas A&M
5. Oklahoma St.
6. TCU

A bunch of teams from Texas and Oklahoma.

What I did and why: I got rid of Baylor and Iowa St. because they don't belong in the Big XII. Replaced Baylor with a much more capable Texas team in TCU. Moved Arkansas over from the SEC. The Hogs make so much more sense sense in this conference. All of their traditional rivals reside here. The Big XII defensive ratings also rise a bit with the addition of Arkansas and TCU.

Big Ten (Twelve)









East

1. Ohio St.
2. Illinois
3. Northwestern
4. Minnesota
5. Wisconsin
6. Purdue

West

1. Iowa
2. Michigan
3. Michigan St.
4. Indiana
5. Iowa St.
6. Notre Dame

One extra team gives them a better chance of winning a bowl game.Doesn't it?

What I did and why: I got rid of the Fighting JoePa's. They never really made much sense geographically in this conference. Brought in Iowa St. to play along with in-state rival Iowa in the same conference. Also moved the Irish into the conference. Something that should have been done a loooonngg time ago. Both teams are pretty bad, so they should fit right in.

PAC 10 (Twelve)













North

1. Washington
2. Washington St.
3. Oregon
4. Oregon St.
5. Stanford
6. Boise St.

South

1. USC
2. UCLA
3. California
4. Arizona
5. Arizona St.
6. San Diego St.

They still have USC!

What I did and why: I kept all original ten teams intact. The PAC-10 was the only BCS conference that made sense geographically. Added Boise St. and San Diego St. to the mix. Both for very different reasons. I brought in the Broncos simply because of their play on the field. While their blue turf may seem gimmicky, they are a bona fide BCS contender. Being in Idaho is a major hindrance to them however. I added San Diego St. to the conference simply because of their location. The PAC-10 will gain a valuable and big TV market with the San Diego area. Also, I truly believe Brady Hoke can get this thing turned around.

ACC













Atlantic

1. Miami
2. Virginia Tech
3. Virginia
4. North Carolina
5. North Carolina St.
6. Louisville

Coastal

1. Florida St.
2. Wake Forest
3. Maryland
4. Duke
5. South Florida
6. East Carolina

The best part, we don't have to put the stupid (FL) after Miami anymore.

What I did and why: I had to replace Georgia Tech and Clemson, which left for the greener pastures of the SEC. Also, I moved Boston College out of the conference. Replaced those three teams With Louisville and South Florida (formerly of the Big East) and East Carolina (Formerly of C-USA). I think Louisville just makes more sense in the ACC than in the Big East. No real logic behind it. Added South Florida because there is already two built-in rivalries in Florida St. and Miami. East Carolina was the last major Carolina school not included in the conference. So I thought, why the hell not? The Pirates also have a good history against ACC teams.

Big East












North

1. Connecticut
2. Syracuse
3. Rutgers
4. Penn St.
5. Boston College
6. Army

South

1. West Virginia
2. Pittsburgh
3. Cincinnati
4. Vanderbilt
5. Navy
6. Central Florida

We're still a good basketball conference!

What I did and why: The Big East is the smallest of the BCS conferences, and that was before I stole USF, and Louisville away. So half of this conference is completely new. I added Penn St. to a conference that they should have already been in. I moved Boston College back to their rightful position in the Big East. I added Vandy and UCF to help the conference recover the areas that were lost with the aforementioned departures. And for the traditionalists out there, I added the two service academies. I really didn't want to add Army, but I just couldn't see Navy ended a season without dismantling the Cadets.

Mountain West










Mountain

1. Air Force
2. Colorado St.
3. Southern Miss
4. Baylor
5. Louisiana Tech
6. Troy

West

1. BYU
2. Utah
3, Wyoming
4. Tulsa
5. Houston
6. UNLV

The Big XII South ain't got nothing on the Mountain West West!

What I did and why: A lot. I admit this conference is kind of thrown together. Basically this is just the leftover teams, BYU, Utah, Tulsa, Troy would have probably made another conference had i been forced to only do 6, but they were put here to equal out the not so great teams. Teams like Wyoming and Air Force were kept because of their past ties to the Mountain West. Teams like Louisiana Tech and Southern Miss were added because of their past performance, and teams like Baylor and Houston were added because of their big markets. This will likely the be destination of future teams that are called up to the big time.

Week 4 Preview

Conference play will begin for most teams around the nation this week. No conference has better match ups than the SEC. Here are a few of the showdowns that will be taking place on Saturday.

Florida travels to Knoxville to listen to 3 and a half hours of god awful Rocky Top. The only thing worse than having to sit through that travesty of a "song" is to listen to 100,000 dumb ass hillbillies sing it off key. I swear I wanna vomit every time I hear that piece of shit.

As a side bar to the raping of our eardrums by the UT band, the Gators and Volunteers will actually be playing a game in front of the aforementioned hillbillies. I'm sorry to inform Cletus and Maude that their Vols have no chance in this game. Sure, some Gator players have given the UT players a LOT of bulletin board material, and yeah, the Vols have revenge on their mind after getting destroyed in the Swamp last year. None of that matters, the Gators will win this one comfortably. I hope Kenny Chesney is ready to wear a Gator helmet at his next concert.

Two top ten teams will be meeting in the SEC West when LSU travels to Auburn. I hope Tony Franklin and his bunch can put up more than 3 points against the Bayou Bengals. If not, this game could get ugly early.

I admit I was a little down on LSU due to their QB situation, but with the way they run the ball and play defense, they might not need a QB. Speaking of not having a QB, Chris Todd and Kodi Burns have not been overly impressive thus far for Auburn. I was expecting Burns to thrive under Frankiln's spread offense. I guess I was wrong.

Both of these games pale in comparison to the monumental throwdown between Ole Miss and Vanderbilt. Ole Miss is very close to making this game a battle of unbeatens. I am thoroughly impressed with the way Jevan Snead has performed. I knew Snead was good, but not this good. Marshay Green and Mike Wallace are both top-flight receivers for the Rebels. It's a shame Vandy doesn't have 2 D.J. Moore's to cover them. I like Ole Miss to hand the Commodores their first defeat of the season.
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In my opinion the Auburn-LSU game is the game of the week. However, everyone is talking about Georgia vs. Arizona St. Perhaps the fact that these two teams have never met makes this game a little more intriguing than the battle of the Tigers.

Granted, this game lost a little luster after the Sun Devils went quietly into the night vs. UNLV, but I still think this game will be very entertaining. Dennis Erickson will have his bunch ready to play. Rudy Carpenter is an NFL quality QB and the Sun Devil offense can explode quickly. However, the Dawgs have just a little too much depth for ASU. I like UGA to prevail in this one.
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The game between Idaho and Utah St. this weekend is a crime against humanity. Both teams should be locked up for cruel and unusual punishment. The Vandals and the Aggies are consistently among the worst teams in the nation. Idaho actually comes into this game with a win! Albeit against a 1-aa team.

I think ESPN should broadcast this game for the hell of it. Why not? Maybe they can put in on one of the ESPN+ affiliates. I don't think there has been a game between two worse programs ever. I know they meet every year, but both teams are exceptionally bad this year. If you're a fan of one of these schools, first off, what the hell are you thinking? Secondly, I'm sorry if I have offended you.

Not really.....
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Players moving up:

Here's some guys that are performing better than expected this season.

Drew Willy - Buffalo QB
Chase Clement - Rice QB
Donald Brown - Connecticut RB
Patrick Pinckney - East Carolina QB
Ahmad Black - Florida S
Sean Spence - Miami(FL) LB
David Johnson - Tulsa QB
Damien Williams - USC WR
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Players going down:

Here's some good for nothing shit bags that don't deserve to call themselves football players.

Kodi Burns - Auburn QB
Entire Syracuse Team
Mike Teel - Rutgers QB
Virginia's Offense
South Carolina QB's
Gary Rogers - Washington St. QB
The ACC
Cortez Gent - Florida Atlantic WR
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What the hell's going on with:

Teams from Arizona.

Both the Wildcats and the Sun Devils suffered defeats at the hands of some pretty mediocre Mountain West teams. Arizona lost to New Mexico, again. The same Lobo team that was thumped by TCU earlier in the season. ASU lost to UNLV, which some people, including me, picked to be one of the worst teams in the nation. I do think 'Zona will be able to rebound this week against UCLA. Unfortunately for the Sun Devils, they will play Georgia.

What has gotten into:

The Mountain West Conference.

Speaking of the Mountain West, how good is this conference? BYU and Utah are both ranked in the top 25. Both the Cougars and the Utes are favored to be BCS busters this season. TCU may be the most impressive team to me so far this season. UNLV and New Mexico both upset the Arizona schools last week. Air Force has looked really good running the ball. Wyoming is ok. San Diego St. and Colorado St. are the only two absolute garbage teams in the conference. Not bad for a Non-BCS league. Plus, they have James Bates as an analyst for their network.
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5 Games to watch

1. LSU@ Auburn
2. Georgia @ Arizona St.
3. Florida @ Tennessee
4. Wake Forest @ Florida St.
5. Virginia Tech @ North Carolina

5 Stories to follow

1. Will Tim Tebow make Rico McCoy his Biotch?
2. Will Mark May gets USC's cock out of his mouth long enough to analyze games?
3. How will Charlie Weis' good leg hold up?
4. How many touchdowns will Jeremy Maclin account for?
5. Will Randy Shannon ever stop crying?

Playoffs?!?!?!? Who's talking about playoffs?!?!?!?

Several college commissioners have come out of the wood works recently to beat down the notion of a playoff system in CFB.

Here's what some notable conference commissioners said when asked about the idea of a playoff system being implemented in the near future:

BIG EAST COMMISSIONER MIKE TRANGHESE: "I have not seen anything that works unless you do things that presidents aren't going to accept. Presidents are not going to allow a football playoff to venture into the second semester, deep into the second semester. They're not going to allow football playoffs to take place during exams. And they're not going to start playing football early in August. ... I find it interesting because I hear football coaches say we ought to have a four-team playoff, I mean, don't insult my intelligence. Once there's a four-team playoff there will be an 8-team playoff. Once there's an 8, there will be a 16."

Translation: No playoffs until school presidents get the used douche bags removed from their anus.

MOUNTAIN WEST'S CRAIG THOMPSON: "Everybody says a playoff. And my coaches and administrators included. And I said — what are you talking about? Are you talking about an 8-team playoff and is the Mountain West guaranteed one of the eight berths? It's easy to say you're in favor of a playoff, but if you don't know what the format is, I can't say unequivocally, 'Heck, yeah, let's have a playoff.'"

Translation: My conference sucks balls. You know it and I know it.

SEC'S ROY KRAMER: "Not in my lifetime. I don't see much support for it nationally. I don't see any overwhelming sentiment nationally to move in that direction. And the Pac-10 and Big Ten don't have any interest in it and I don't see that changing."

Translation: The Big 10 and PAC 10 is made up of a bunch of pussies. I can't wait to die so I can kick their grandfather's asses in hell.

Here's what some commissioners said when approached with the idea of conference expansion:

ACC'S JOHN SWOFFORD: "I think in terms of our league, we're probably rather stable for a good while to come. I don't think we currently have any interest in being any larger than 12. You get beyond that, it becomes a more difficult enterprise to manage and scheduling becomes even more complicated."

Translation: We suck enough with 12 teams. Why dilute that suckiness with more shitty programs?

TRANGHESE: "Well, there aren't four schools back that would make the football league any better in my view. Now if you said to me, pick any four schools, I could make us a lot better. But those schools are currently playing in other leagues. And I think schools that are available who have expressed a desire to be here I just don't think collectively make us any better. And I'm not one that believes having a football [championship game] is necessarily the right thing."

Translation: We don't want no shitty ass teams stinking up our league. We already have Syracuse for that.

This was an interesting moment when the debate between the ACC and Big East was brought up:

TRANGHESE: "You know what, people have really tried to engage me in conversation about the ACC and I've lasted five years without it, so I'm going to make it one more year."

Translation: Bring it Bitches!

SWOFFORD: "Well, first of all, I don't think you measure a conference totally on what you do in the BCS games. You know, the only way to rectify that is to win some of them. ... I think what we've done league-wise is put ourselves in a position to be stronger than we've ever been before and play at the very top level at a consistent basis."

Translation: We get paid just to PLAY in the BCS. Who care about actually winning the games?

When asked a general question about change in CFB's near future, here's what was said:

TRANGHESE: "I don't think anybody knows — that's the challenge. Put it this way, [look at] the last 15 years. And go back to '90, let's say the last 18 years. ... Penn State leaves and goes to the Big Ten. Florida State loses its independent status and goes to the ACC. The SEC expands. The Big East takes on football. The Southwest Conference goes away. The Big 12 realigns. I mean, if you went to sleep in 1990 and you woke up today, you'd be overwhelmed by it all. I'd like to think that because of the size of the leagues, that generally speaking, we're done with expansion."

Translation: Do you expect Rosie O' Donnell to get any fatter before she croaks?

C-USA'S BRITTON BANOWSKY: "I do think we're in a period of relative stability right now and I think the challenges and some of the difficulty that people experienced going through the last time, the last round of realignment, has caused folks to carefully consider making moves before they make them. And so I think that's helping us right now kind of get traction with our current alignments, get our branding mechanisms in place and really grow."

Translation: We already crashed and burned with the Army experiment. I'm not in any hurry to screw up royally again.

SWOFFORD: "History would tell us that in college athletics that at some point, there may be other shifts that are coming. ... I think we're probably in a reasonably stable period. Ultimately down the road, anther decade, another two decades, history would tell us maybe there'll be some movement again."

Translation: I'm gay and I'm in to water sports....

The top 25 players: Mountain West

Time to look at everyone's favorite conference now!

Let's hear it for the Mountain West!!!!!

Here are my top 25 players from the greatest football conference on Earth.


1. Max Hall - BYU QB - Max Hall could have the potential to be the first QB selected come draft time. The Cougars are expected to do big thnigs this season, and Hall is a big reason for that.

2. DeAndre Wright - New Mexico DB - Wright is one of the best cover corners in the nation. Unfortunately for him, he plays in the desert of New Mexico. Most people have never even heard of this guy. You would think a school that produced Brian Urlacher would get a little more pub.

3. Jan Jorensen - BYU DL - The Cougar's defensive line will be scary this season. Jorgensen is the leader of the best unit in the MWC. Opposing QB's will be on the run all game long when they face BYU.

4. Harvey Unga - BYU RB - Unga really came onto the scene last season. I look for him to carry his momentum over into this season. While Hall will get most of the pub on offense, Unga will play a big role in BYU's success.

5. Dallas Reynolds - BYU OL - Not only does BYU have the best defensive line in the MWC, they also have the best offensive line. Reynolds will head a very strong group that will work hard to keep Hall out of trouble and open lanes for Unga.

6. Austin Collie - BYU WR - Hall has got to have somebody to throw to. That somebody is Collie. He is as tough as they come at the WR position.

7. Ryan Wolfe - UNLV WR - Finally, another non- BYU player. Unfortunately for Wolfe, he plays on a really bad Rebel football team. Wolfe may actually be a better rounded receiver than Collie at BYU.

8. Robert Conley - Utah OL - You knew the other participant in the Holy War was going to have a say on this list. Conley leads a very deep Utah offensive line that will be looking to protect talented QB Brian Johnson.

9. Ray Feinga - BYU OL - Feinga joins Dallas Reynolds on the BYU O-line. The Cougars are going to be seriously good this season. I can see why everyone is picking them to go undefeated.

10. John Fletcher - Wyoming DL - Joe Glenn's Wyoming team fell apart late last season. It will be up to the Cowboy's defense, led by Fletcher, to not let another meltdown happen in 2008.

Here are the rest:

11. Ward Dobbs Wyoming LB
12. Jason Allen TCU LB
13. Rodney Ferguson New Mexico RB
14. Nick Charles Air Force OL
15. Paul Kruger Utah DL
16. Russell Allen San Diego St. LB
17. Brian Johnson Utah QB
18. Darrell Mack Utah RB
19. Darren Mougey San Diego St. WR
20. Casey Flair UNLV WR
21. Travis Bright BYU OL
22. Cody Moore TCU DL
23. Mitch Unrein Wyoming DL
24. Rafael Priest TCU DB
25. Dennis Pitta BYU TE