CFB 365 Beer Pong Torunament

Beer pong and college football. Has there ever been two things that went together so nicely? Not since peanut butter and jelly or Phil Fulmer and stretch pants have two entities come together and created one magnificent spectacle.

I've decided to exploit this fact by starting a beer pong tournament, CFB365 style. The tournament will consist of 16 prominent BCS coaches divided into two brackets. I wanted to do one with the players, but we don't condone underage drinking here at 365 (officially anyways...).

The tournament will commence tomorrow. For now, let's meet the competitors.

The "I Need 10 Cups So They Don't Runeth Over" Division


1. Urban Meyer- Florida.

Tale of the tape.
Age- 45
Birthplace- Ashtabula, OH
Claim to fame- Won 2 national championships in first 4 years at Florida.
Signature move- Calls timeout when ahead 8 cups to 2 to give his opponent plenty of time to contemplate their inevitable defeat. Then calmly drains the last 2 cups.
Quote- " You'd be nuts not to root for me."
Nickname- Head Ponger In Charge



2. Nick Saban - Alabama

Tale of the tape.

Age- 57
Birthplace- Hell
Claim to fame- Became the head coach of Bama merely minutes after refuting reports he was leaving the Miami Dolphins.
Signature move- Convinces opponent he will not play against them. As soon as they let their guard down, he attacks!
Quote- "I will not play in this tournament. I'm telling you right now. Never, ever."
Nickname- Honest Nicky



3. Pete Carroll - USC

Tale of the tape.

Age- 57
Birthplace- San Francisco, CA
Claim to fame- 1 1/2 national championships.
Signature move- He has the rest of the PAC-10 hold his side cup when it's his turn to shoot.
Quote- "Win forever....at beer pong!"
Nickname- West Coast Pong Dude



4. Les Miles - LSU

Tale of the tape.

Age- 55
Birthplace- Elyria, OH
Claim to fame- Won national championship despite 2 losses.
Signature move- With only one cup needed to win, Miles will still attempt to bounce the ball in just for shits and giggles.
Quote- " What the hell, go for it!"
Nickname- The Beer Pong Gambler



5. Mack Brown - Texas

Tale of the tape.

Age- 57
Birthplace- Cookeville, TN
Claim to fame- Rode Vince Young's manic depressive legs to a national championship.
Signature move- He finds one toss he likes early and sticks with it. No matter what, he keeps doing it over and over.
Quote- "Drink 'Em"
Nickname- The Solo Cup Destroyer



6. Jim Tressel - Ohio St.

Tale of the tape.

Age- 56
Birthplace- Mentor, OH
Claim to fame- Won one national championship with the Buckeyes, and he only needed a little help from the refs.
Signature move- Slowly wears down his opponent by methodically draining every cup in order and playing good defense.
Quote- "What the hell does a spread offense mean?"
Nickname- The Vested Ponger




7. Joe Paterno - Penn St.

Tale of the tape.

Age- 109
Birthplace- Brooklyn, NY
Claim to Fame- The all time winningnest coach in college football history.
Signature move- Watches the whole match from the side while his assistants do all the work.
Quote- "Beer pong was way more fun during prohibition."
Nickname- JoePong



8. Randy Shannon - Miami

Tale of the tape.

Age- 43
Birthplace- Miami, FL
Claim to fame- Crying incessantly after Urban Meyer kicked a late field goal in last year's Gators victory.
Signature move- Bad mouths opponents after each and every loss.
Quote- "Everybody in this tournament is a classless dirtbag."
Nickname- Tears For Beers.


The "I Just Need An Excuse To Drink" Division.


1. Mark Richt - Georgia

Tale of the tape.

Age- 49
Birthplace- Omaha, NE
Claim to fame- Severely pissing off Urban Meyer.
Signature move- Jumps on to the table and celebrates wildly after draining the first cup of every match.
Quote-"At least I'm not Lane Kffin."
Nickname- The Double Fister




2. Lane Kiffin - Tennessee

Tale of the tape.

Age- 34
Birthplace- Bloomington, MN
Claim to fame- Absolutely nothing.
Signature move- Pisses off every single one of his opponents before the match even starts.
Quote-"I'm gonna turn Urban Meyer in right now. He blocked my attempt to bounce my ball into his cup. Just to let you know, that's cheating.
Nickname- Lame Chugger



3. Bob Stoops - Oklahoma

Tale of the tape.

Age- 48
Birthplace- Youngstown, OH
Claim to fame- One national championship and 26 straight BCS appearances.
Signature move- Wins every single match with a tiebreaker.
Quote-"Why would I design a defense to stop the Statue of Liberty? That play will never come up."
Nickname- Beer Me


4. Charlie Weis - Notre Dame

Tale of the tape.

Age- 53
Birthplace- Butter
Claim to fame- "Architect" of the New England Patriots' offense.
Signature move- Disorients opponents with his body odor and engulfs any wayward ping pong balls that come near his cups.
Quote- "I'm telling you, I am a genius. You gotta believe me!"
Nickname- Lightweight




5. Rich Rodriguez - Michigan

Tale of the tape.

Age- 46
Birthplace- Grant Town, WV
Claim to fame- Led Michigan to their worst record in 206 years of football.
Signature move- Wipes the sweat off of his brow with bright red wristbands while calmly draining shots.
Quote-"Give me my money!"
Nickname - Appalachian Swigger



6. Bobby Bowden - Florida St.

Tale of the tape.

Age- 107
Birthplace- Pangaea
Claim to fame- Two national championships and a lifetime of quotes.
Signature move- The Pongrooskie
Quote-"Well Daggummit. I can't follow this her darned thing."
Nickname- The Wonderkid.




7. Steve Kragthorpe - Louisville
Tale of the tape.

Age- 44
Birthplace- Missoula, MT
Claim to fame- Completely bombing the Louisville program.
Signature move- Gets in way over his head and hangs on for dear life.
Quote- "I'm not in Tulsa anymore."
Nickname- Stevie Kegstand






8. Mike Riley - Oregon St.

Tale of the tape.

Age- 56
Birthplace- Wallace, ID
Claim to fame- Annually ruining the national title hopes of a PAC-10 team.
Signature move- Surprises his opponents with his cunning ability to dominate the beer pong table. Always lets the other guy back in, but nails the game winning cup in overtime.
Quote-"No, no, no, no, no. I'm the OTHER Mike Riley."
Nickname- The Malice From Corvallis

Guest Blog: Gators First

Our good friends at Gators First have been kind enough to provide us with an interesting article as we gear up for a huge weekend.

This topic has been controversial and hotly contested as of late.

Just my two cents: Meyer is better at everything than Saban. Everything!
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The Meyer v. Saban Debate

A couple weeks ago, one of my Arkansas-fan friends asked me if I thought Urban Meyer or Nick Saban was the better coach. There are some similairites. Saban is a part of the 'Belichick coaching tree', while Meyer is turning into Bill Belichick. Meyer's "year-two" magic was well publicized at Utah, and then when UF won a National Title in 2006. Saban, of course, has Alabama the undisputed #1 team in the country, and in position for a National Title in year two. There are more, but that's not the point. The point is, who's better? My answer, of course was Meyer.

Consider Nick Saban's coaching record outside of powerhouse schools LSU and Alabama. Up until year 5 at Michigan State, they were really a .500 team. They also lost 3 consecutive bowl games to start his tenure (the only 3 they made). In fact, Nick Saban never won a bowl game while at Michigan State- when they beat Florida after the 1999 season, they were led by an interim coach. He lucked into an SEC title in 2001, as the best teams were most certainly Florida and Tennessee, but a 3-loss (all in-conference!) LSU was the West's representative in Atlanta, and benefitted from what is now considered the beginning of the end of Phil Fulmer.Urban Meyer has won everywhere. He went 17-6 at Bowling Green! BOWLING GREEN! He started Utah on a roll that hasn't stopped. And I thoroughly blame the players and their lack of maturity for last season. Even last year, which was probably his worst year (it certainly was, record-wise, though his year end rankings were roughly the same in 05) he coached a Heisman winner! He has a phenomenal record in bowl games, rivalry games, and games played with extra preparation (usually after a bye).

I’m not trying to put down Nick Saban. I think these guys are easily 1 and 1a, whichever way you rank them. The only other name anyone ever throws out there is Pete Carroll, and I’m on the record for my opinion of Pete Carroll. I chose Urban for probably two reasons: 1) He’s our coach and 2) I can make the argument for Meyer over Saban, but can’t formulate the Saban over Meyer argument. We should see where these guys are in another five years, but I think it’s safe to assume for now that these are the two best coaches in the NCAA.Anyways, what do you think? I've tried to look at this objectively, and the only arguments I've come up with for Saban over Meyer I can attribute to his being a head coach for longer. I also don't think this will be decisively answered Saturday- I think it will be but one more data point from which to form a conclusion.