Which Side Are You On?

There are two types of people in this world, Beatles people and Elvis people. - Mia, Pulp Fiction 1994.

Good 'ol Coke snortin' Mia was up to something when she uttered those words to a bloated John Travolta in one of the greatest movies ever made. 15 years later, this quote needs to be ammended somewhat. You see, nowadays there are still only two kinds of people in the world: Those who like and respect Tebow, and douchebags.

With Tebow's recent injury, the divide has become clearer than ever between the two camps. I have always known of the strong anti-Tebow movement in the country today. I have always been kind enough to respectfully disagree with their position on the matter and move on in the past. However, these people have become ever more vocal after Tebow's injury which is what makes their group known collectively as the douchebags.

These baggers are quick to point out that Tebow is a product of a system, is a mediocre QB, only scores from the 1 yard line, is surrounded by NFL talent at every position, has an uncanny relationship with Coach Urb, is shoved down our throats by the media conglomerate. As I said, in the past I just shrugged these comments off. Now, I guess you can call me kind of jaded. I'm a little fed up with these morons. They always seem to forget the actual stats and performances that point to Tebow's greatness.

I decided to search around the internet and gather the comment I could find both good and bad from all of Florida's rival fan bases in response to Tebow's injury. There are representatives from Tennessee, LSU, Georgia, Ohio St., Florida St. and many more.

For your convenience, I've separated them into two groups. Also, I decided not to post the thousands of redundant posts by the douchebag contingent that went along the lines of, "The Gaytors suck! Teblow got what he deserved! Gayturds are going down! Urban Crier sucks Teblow's cock!." There was a surprising amount of these posts.....

The Good


Gator fans, I feel for you. I'm not a big fan of any team from Florida but this kid is an absolute class act. Hope he gets well soon. - zorich88 espn.com (Notre Dame fan)


Why is everyone bashing Tebow on here? he has done more for college football than (Pat) White and (Vince) Young combined...he plays with more heart than anyone out there...he doesn't trash talk before the game...even though he's the only one that has really earned the rite as a player...no one in the game has done what he has both professionally and domestically...hes a good guy. - keenan1990 espn.com (allegiance unknown)


Im a Bama fan but I will say that Tebow has class (more players in NCAA should have such class). I hope that he recovers quickly. - CapnB SI.com


As much as I dislike him as the Gator QB, I think he's a fine young man with good Christian values. - Cooleyvol volnation.com


When I saw him laying there, obviously knocked out cold, I was extremely concerned for Tebow. I know everyone outside of Gator Nation gets sick and tired of hearing about "superman", there is NOWAY that any of us (at least the REAL college football fans) wish him any kind of injury. Tebow is a great human being and one of the best college players of all time. - BuckeyeVols volnation.com


Gator fans, here's to a quick recovery to one of the most passionate and best leaders to ever play the game of football. As a note, I have come to admire and at the same time despise Timmy. You admire his leadership qualities and determination, but at the same time want to see him lose if hes not on your team...Some of you need to do a little soul searching if you are wishing death or injury because of a football game. - Nole55 rivals.com


I don't know why, but I have the tendency to not like very many really good players form other teams. However, Tebow is a guy that almost makes you like him with his style of play, attitude, and the way he acts off the field as well. - tiger_rag rivals.vom


I'm no Tebow fan, but how can ANYONE hate him? I repset him, greatly, and I wish him a swift recovery. - Seven Heismans rivals.com (USC fan)


...As a side note, even with the ineptitude our team displayed I did take some satisfaction in knowing that I witnessed seeing arguably the best college football player in a long, long time. - Sam K wildcatnation.com


...NOTHING about sports should have fans so whipped up into hatred for the other team that they want a guy seriously injured...especially a class act like Tim Tebow. We need more not fewer Tim Tebows in this world. - Dr. H Lecter wildcatnation.com


Now time for the douchebags. You're warned before you read this can get vulgar and pretty idiotic....


He will go down as the most overrated qb in college football history. If hes the greatest qb ever then why won't he be the 1st player drafted in april? Because he's not a qb, he's a system player. - lazarre11 espn.com (village idiot)


This isn't 1950!!! He's not Ghandi!!! This is 2009 and in these days there will never, and i mean NEVER have one person go to other countries and make a "change" or "difference". If Tebow wants to do something good, do it in this country, not in some third world country where no one gives a flying fuuuuck about the USA! Tebow=loser! - jsanders78 espn.com (avid isolationist)


i pray he's gone for the season - ga82 SI.com (The smartest Georgia fan in the world)


Thats what having a Douche bag of a coach will get ya...can't believe Timmy t went down...thought he was superman! - bigorange#1 volnation.com (Secret identity of Lane Kiffin)


This just adds to the drama! Of course he was already sick, right? Someone change his feminine hygiene product in the ambulance and move on... - DawgnLA dawgs.com (funniest man alive)


I'm glad Tebow wasnt paralyzed or severly hurt. I do, however, hope he plays again, and here is why. I am not sold on his abilities at quarterback. He has the best supporting cast in college football. Who knows how many athletes could step in his spot and achieve similar results. For sure, the director of propaganda at UF deseves a pat on the back....Besides, he wears jean shorts! BubmcUGA dawgs.com (World-renowned Fashionista)


A sensible Tebow thread is still a Tebow thread Love him or Hate him ESPN will hype someone else you will be forced to move on. I am so glad ESPN has chosen Barkley to be the next Tebow hoever deserving/undeserving he maybe so that the Gators can get a taste of what the rest of the country is going thru for the next 3 years. - Trojanlaker rivals.com (Stuck in 2002)


I cheered when he got hit. I cheered when he went down. I high fived numerous people when he didn't get up. And I'm still cheering on the inside today. I'm sick and tired of St. Tebow...You are darn right I cheered. I'd do it again, and again, and again, if I had the chance. -Copland wildcatnation.com (Karma's next victim)


Gay as frick and not his kid. Tebow is $$$$$ in Urban's eyes. it was more like a broker watching his stock dro. fricking douche gator fags. - jfortenberrylsu tigerdroppings.com (LSU intellectual)


You Gaytor fans are delusional. Wait till next year when Tebow is gone. RedShirt tigerdrtopings.com (displaced Buffalo Bills fan)


Tebow should go back to playing with kids weiners as a missonary because he's a pansie -
Jon Logan facebook.com (Jealous that he's not circumcized)


boo fucking hoo tebow is hurt big deal I wish the fag was crippled so everyone would snap outta their little fantasy of him being just the "greatest person in the world" fuck him and hope he gets fucked up in the NFL....GO FSU - Bret Yelvington facebook.com (Upset his team can't beat USF)


tebow isnt the greatest player of all time. oh and 4 all the UF fans on here, you dont win chamionships, in fact u dont even have a history before spurrios. ur not even the best in fla. u have 3. miami has 5. in fact you rank 21st for championships, congrats on your 4 years of success. keep drinking your tebow kool-aid. you guys suck. - Adam Indermuehle facebook.com (The bestest math man in the world! Congrats Adam)


For what it's worth, there were more good comments on the message boards than bad ones. Except for Georgia forums. Dawg fans were overwhelmingly on the douche side. LSU fans were probably the next worse. Kentucky, and surprisingly, Tennessee fans were probably the most respectful.

Surreal Sights in Gator Victory

Three years ago when Kentucky came to the Swamp to play the eventual National Champion Florida Gators, there were several firsts. Urban Meyer's coaching scheme came under fire for the first time. Kentucky actually showed up to play the Gators for the first time, and probably most famously, Chris Leak was booed for replacing his back-up Tim Tebow midway through the game.

Last night there were 2 even more surreal sights in the Gators' 41-7 victory over Kentucky. We all know what one of those sights were, and I'll get to that in a bit. However, halfway through the second quarter something happened that went unnoticed by the broadcast booth. Tim Tebow took a snap under center. Granted the play resulted in a no gain run from Chris Rainey, but we saw Tebow take a snap under center! Mel Kiper just improved Tebow's draft stock by two rounds.

Now for the other surreal sight. Tim Tebow lying motionless on the ground after a sack. This was truly one of those moments when I was absolutely speechless. It was crazy to see "Superman" just laying there like he was taking a nap. Watching his offensive linemen stand over him and trying to wake him by tapping on his chest made me realize that this was a serious incident. It was also surreal to see the entire Gator and Wildcat team on the field watching the Florida medical staff work on the G.O.A.T. I'm sure all 200 of them couldn't believe what they were seeing. The constant camera cut aways to Tebow on the sideline turned the actual game into a secondary concern. We got to see Tebow filling a bag to the brim with vomit as he was being carted off the field. Then, to see Tebow being driven off by an ambulance to the local hospital made me reminisce of the days I used to watch the WWF. I half expected Stone Cold to pop out of the cab and hear good 'ol J.R. proclaim, "Stone Cold is driving the ambulance! The Rattlesnake strikes again!" Along with seeing Jerry Rice lying on the ground after tearing up his knee (which I saw live and in person) this ranks as one of the more concerning moments of my football fanhood.

Now, as for the actual game that was played. Before the injury, Tebow was his usual dominating self. Timmy was inching closer and closer to his career high rushing yardage mark before getting his dome scrambled. The most impressive part about Tebow's performance, was that his runs were not the typical bruising, run you over, type of runs. Tebow was shaking and juking and spinning all through the Wildcats' D. The running game in general was on for the entire game. The fact that the Gators only completed 9 passes and still won by 34 shows you how great their running game was.

The disappointing part of the game is that if you take away Kentucky shooting themselves in the foot throughout the first quarter, this is another close game. I'm not sure if the Gators just lost focus after jumping out to a 31-0 first quarter lead, but for the rest of the game it was a struggle for the offense.

The defense, once again, was stellar. This was perhaps their best all around game. Brandon Spikes heeded my advice and finally showed up, as did Carlos Dunlap. I always knew those guys took the time out to read my blog. 2 interceptions and 3 sacks helped to fill up the stat sheet for Charlie Strong and Dan McCarney's bunch.

The best news is that the Gators have an off week before traveling to Baton Rouge in what is shaping up to be their toughest game of the season. That means plenty of rest time for Tebow and his noggin, as well as time for all the sickies to get that damn virus out of their system.

Here are the vitals.

Passing

Tim Tebow 5-10 103 yds 1 td
John Brantley 4-6 30 yds 1 td

Rushing

Tim Tebow 16 rushes 123 yds 2 tds
Jeff Demps 12 rushes 97 yds
Emmanuel Moody 5 rushes 57 yds
Mike Gillislee 6 rushes 39 yds
Chris Rainey 9 rushes 36 yds

Receiving

Aaron Hernandez 3 recs 54 yds 1 td
Riley Cooper 2 recs 30 yds 1 td
David Nelson 2 recs 27 yds


Tackles

Brandon Spikes 10 tckls
Dustin Doe 8 tckls
Brandon Hicks 5 tckls
Ahmad Black 5 tckls

Sacks

Brandon Hicks 1 sack
Joe Haden 1 sack
Carlos Dunlap 1 sack


Interceptions

Janoris Jenkins 1 int
Major Wright 1 int

Misc.

Chris Rainey 1 blocked punt 1 td



Player of the Game

Tim Tebow - The Concussed

As I said earlier, Tebow was on his game before the injury. 103 yards passing and 123 yards rushing made Tebow's stats sheet look really, really good. The way Tebow was breaking off big runs made this game even more impressive than his Troy performance from two weeks ago. Let's hope Timmy has a speedy recovery and is ready to deliver some punishment to the Bayou Bengals in two weeks.

Florida - Kentucky Preview

Finally Tennessee week has come and gone. Now we can finally be rid of that ass clown Lane Kiffin, right? Well, maybe not. Laney is still running his mouth over in Knoxville. I'm starting to think there may be a hint of jealousy on some of Kiffin's comments lately. I think I've dedicated enough space on this blog to this douche bag so I will now turn my attention to where it belongs: The Florida Gators' next opponent.

The Kentucky Wildcats are coming into this affair with a 2-0 record. The Wildcats have knocked off semi-rival Miami(OH) at a neutral site, as well as an actual rival in Louisville. Two things that Kentucky does well: run the football and rush the quarterback. Two things they don't do well: pass the ball and beat the Gators.

Kentucky is the only SEC East team that the Gators have not lost to since 1990. The winning streak even dates back further than that. In fact, the last time Kentucky beat Florida, Billy Gillespie only had 2 DUI's.

There has been a surprising amount of talk coming from Lexington this week. This article does a good job of explaining why Kentucky has a significant hatred for us Gators. Some of the comments suggest that the Wildcat fans are hoping for an upset. Good luck with that.


5 Keys to the Game

1. Throw the deep ball - Last week against Tennessee, the Gators passing attack did not attack down field once all game long. I don't care what Urban says about the flu or the other team's game plan, there is no excuse for that lack of productivity. There is too much talent and way too much speed to take a shot down field at least a handful of times a game. Kentucky gets after the QB so throwing the deep ball can help slow the rush a bit.



2. Avoid Trevard Lindley - If and when the Gators feel like attacking down field, they need to make sure it is to the opposite side of the field of Trevard Lindley. Lindley is a monster at CB. He is probably the lone player in the Wildcat secondary that could crack the Orange and Blue's two deep. He's even touted by some as the first CB taken in next year's draft.


3, Stop the run - As I've said previously, Kentucky runs the ball very well. It will be imperative that the Gators are able to establish a good defense against the run on Saturday. Against the Vols last week, Monterio Hardesty and Bryce Brown pretty much gashed the Gators' D all game long. If the Wildcats can't run the ball, Rich Brooks and company will be in for a very long day.


4. Give the freakin' ball to Moody - Manny got nice with it the only time he touched the ball against the Vols. Going to Moody early in the game showed that Meyer still has confidence in the USC transfer despite his fumble against Troy the previous week. You know what would be an even better way of showing you still have confidence in the guy? Give him the ball 10-15 times against Kentucky!


5. Pack plenty of hand sanitizer - Our recent struggles with the flu coupled with the overall dirtiness of Kentucky should equal a bus load of hand sanitizer for the Gators. We don't need to lose anyone else to illness.








5 Gators that need to step up



1. Aaron Hernandez - I'm starting to get a little tired of this whole "Aaron Hernandez is the greatest thing to hit the field not named Tebow since the forward pass." I like Hernandez and I know that he has the potential to be one of the best to ever wear the Orange and Blue. Lately, however, Hernandez has resembled Markell Thompson more closely than CI.


2. Jeff Demps - We saw how much the Gators offense can struggle when Demps isn't 100 percent. The funny thing is, Demps was one of the few bright spots on the offensive side of the ball despite his illness. It would be nice for Demps to have a repeat performance of last season's game vs. Kentucky


3. Brandon Spikes - Like Hernandez, Spikes has not played up to his capabilities fully this season. Some of that has to do with the Gator's weaker schedule as well as Spikes' own health issues. However, Spikes should be the main presence for the Gators when he's on the field, no matter what condition. That has not been the case thus far. There have been times when I wouldn't see Spikes for several series because he simply did not stand out.


4. Carlos Dunlap - Dunlap was just named to the Ted Hendricks Top Defensive End Award list on Wednesday. Time for Los to take a step in the direction of taking the award home.


5. Jaye Howard - Howard is someone who has been impressing me all season long. I hope that continues this week as Howard will be vital in the Gators' effort to stop the Kentucky rushing attack. Let's just hope that if he does stop the run, he won't get penalized for excessive celebration, deserving or not.

Here's some highlights from last season's thrilling, fight to the finish victory. It was also Mr. Two-Bits' last game.




Apparently Kentucky fans feel that Monte Kiffin showed them the way. They have seen the light. Sort of.


My Prediction

Florida - 34

Kentucky - 14

Weekly Picks

No into this week, just straight to the picks!


Western Michigan @ Ball St.
Navy @ Northern Illinois
Texas A&M @ Texas
West Virginia @ Pittsburgh
Central Michigan @ Eastern Michigan
Mississippi St. @ Ole Miss
Ohio @ Miami(OH)
UTEP @ East Carolina
Akron @ Temple
Kent St. @ Buffalo
Colorado @ Nebraska
Bowling Green @ Toledo
Fresno St. @ Boise St.
UCLA @ Arizona St.
Georgia Tech @ Georgia
Syracuse @ Cincinnati
Miami(FL) @ NC State
South Carolina @ Clemson
Virginia @ Virginia Tech
Kansas @ Missouri
UAB @ UCF
Arkansas St. @ North Texas
Nevada @ Louisiana Tech
New Mexico St. @ Utah St.
Southern Miss @ SMU
Auburn @ Alabama
Florida @ Florida St.
Baylor @ Texas Tech
Maryland @ Boston College
North Carolina @ Duke
Tulane @ Memphis
Houston @ Rice
Tulsa @ Marshall
FIU @ Florida Atlantic
Kentucky @ Tennessee
Oregon @ Oregon St.
Vanderbilt @ Wake Forest
Oklahoma @ Oklahoma St.
Notre Dame @ USC
Washington St. @ Hawaii

Upset Alerts:

Colorado over Nebraska - The Buffs need this win to become bowl eligible. I think Coach Hawkins gets them fired up enough to win it.

North Carolina St. over Miami(FL) - Just like last season, Tom O'Brien has the Wolfpack playing like ACC champs at the end of the year. If he can just find a way to have his team play like that all season long, he may have something special.

Tennessee over Kentucky - The Wildcats may be running into a buzz saw on this one. I don't see the Vol senior class letting Coach Fulmer go out without a win.

Oklahoma St. over Oklahoma - It's Bedlam! Anything can happen.....

Domination

You know it's a big day for the Gators when David Nelson graces the stat sheet.

The Gators absolutely dominated every facet of the game on their way to a 63-5 victory over the Kentucky Wildcats. What's most impressive about that score is the fact that Kentucky came into the came with the top scoring defense in the SEC. These are the same Cats that gave number 2 Alabama all it could handle a week ago. It also didn't hurt that the Gators special teams unit was able to block three kicks in the game.

This was a great sign heading in to the cocktail party this weekend. Georgia did their part to make the game interesting my dismantling LSU. This is possibly the most hyped Florida-Georgia game EVER.(More on that in a future post.)

I don't wanna dwell too much on the Kentucky game. I don't want to hurt my baby Ashley Judd's feelings.

Just for shits and giggles:


Here's the stats!


Florida Passing
Tim Tebow 11-15 180 yards 2 tds 1 int
John Brantley II 2-3 52 yards 1 td


Florida Rushing
Jeff Demps 7 50 yards
Tim Tebow 9 48 yards 2 tds
Kestahn Moore 8 39 yards 1 td
Chris Rainey 7 39 yards
Percy Harvin 2 22 yards 1 td
John Brantley II 2 14 yards
Vincent Brown 3 9 yards
Brandon James 2 9 yards 1 td


Florida Receiving
Jeff Demps 4 recs 67 yards 1 td
Louis Murphy 2 recs 21 yards
David Nelson 1 rec 38 yards 1 td
Percy Harvin 1 rec 31 yards 1 td
Carl Moore 1 rec 25 yards
Chris Rainey 1 rec 16 yards
Kestahn Moore 1 rec 14 yards
Deonte Thompson 1 rec 9 yards
Brandon James 1 rec 9 yards


Player of the Game

Tim Tebow - Quarterback, Superman, Sexual Beast!

Timmy T finally gets my player of the game honors. His four touchdown performance stood out to me. His passing numbers weren't that great, and he threw a pick, but he found the damn end zone! It was a big bonus Meyer was able to rest him the entire fourth quarter. That should give Tebow plenty of time to get up for UGA. As if he needed any more time.....

Weekly Picks

Last Week- 42 - 11

Overall - 285-72


Just like my Gators, I bounced back rather strong this week. A few of my highlight picks were Vanderbilt, Temple, North Carolina and South Carolina to name a few.

Due to yet another Tuesday night game, I have to make my picks a little early this week. Here is the truth:



Troy @ Florida Atlantic
Clemson @ Wake Forest
UAB @ Houston
Louisville @ Memphis
Texas @ Oklahoma
Iowa @ Indiana
Toledo @ Michigan
East Carolina @ Virginia
Syracuse @ West Virginia
Minnesota @ Illinois
Rutgers @ Cincinnati
Colorado @ Kansas
South Carolina @ Kentucky
Eastern Michigan @ Army
Utah @ Wyoming
Kansas St. @ Texas A&M
Vanderbilt @ Mississippi St.
Ohio @ Kent St.
Nebraska @ Texas Tech
Arizona St. @ USC
Tennessee @ Georgia
Purdue @ Ohio St.
Notre Dame @ North Carolina
Michigan St. @ Northwestern
TCU @ Colorado St.
Gardner-Webb @ Georgia Tech
Western Michigan @ Buffalo
UCF @ Miami(FL)
Temple @ Central Michigan
Miami(OH) @ Northern Illinois
New Mexico St. @ Nevada
Arkansas @ Auburn
Arizona @ Stanford
New Mexico @ BYU
Bowling Green @ Akron
Washington St. @ Oregon St.
Ball St. @ Western Kentucky
Iowa St. @ Baylor
UL-Lafayette @ North Texas
UL-Monroe @ Arkansas St.
Middle Tennessee @ Florida International
Utah St. @ San Jose St.
Oklahoma St. @ Missouri
LSU @ Florida
Penn St. @ Wisconsin
Boise St. @ Southern Miss
Tulsa @ SMU
Tulane @ UTEP
Air Force @ San Diego St.
Idaho @ Fresno St.
UCLA @ Oregon
Louisiana Tech @ Hawaii


Upset Alert: Here's a few upset picks I made for this week:

Colorado over Kansas. I like Colorado's running game. If they can play slightly better than Iowa St. did last week, which isn't impossible, they should knock off the Jayhawks.

Kentucky over South Carolina. This might not be too big of an upset pick. I like the Cats to win a defensive battle.

Buffalo over Western Michigan. I know what you're thinking. "There's no upsets in the MAC! All teams are equally bad!" Well you're wrong and you're an ass. This would be an upset. Besides, nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bulls.

Wisconsin over Penn St. This might be a long shot. But I just don't see the Badgers losing three straight games. Especially back-to-back home games.

Week 6 Preview

Last week finally brought the major upsets that we've been waiting for. USC lost to Oregon St. to open the week. That was then followed up by Florida, Wisconsin, East Carolina and Clemson all losing to unranked teams.

This week, there are a few games that could offer more upsets. Here are a few dandies:


Oregon St. vs. Utah

The Beavers are riding high after their victory over USC last Thursday. They are looking to knock off their second straight top 25 team. The Utes most likely will not overlook OSU, since the Beavers are a "bigger" program. However, it will be interesting how Utah plans on defending scatterback Jacquizz Rodgers. If Utah does win, then that will just continue the tradition of the Mountain West handing the PAC-10's it's own ass.


Kansas vs. Iowa St.

For some strange, ungodly reason, I like this Cyclone football team. For some even stranger and ungodlier reason, I really don't like this Jayhawk team. Kansas should roll in this one, but I wouldn't be surprised if ISU stayed in it until the end. If I'm right, we all know anything can happen at the end of a Big XII game.


Kentucky vs. Alabama

The Tide are America's sweethearts right now. ESPN has withdrew USC's cock from it's mouth long enough to start a slobber job on Nick Saban's bunch. Will this fellatio pleasure go straight to the Alabama players' heads? Probably not. But Kentucky is a solid team, and they will be fired up to knock off the Elephants.


Texas Tech vs. Kansas St.

The Red Raiders have faced nothing but JV high school teams to date this season. While the Wildcats don't present that much of a stiffer challenge, it's still conference play. The game is in Manhattan, where Kansas St. always seems to play much better. It will be up to Tech's defense to stop the Wildcats enough to allow Graham Harrell and Co. to outscore them.


Auburn vs. Vanderbilt

Statistically speaking, if the Commodores win, this wouldn't be an Earth altering upset. However, if the 'Dores pull out a win against Auburn, the entire college football universe will be turned on it's head. This is the only upset that I've actually picked to happen, so I think it's more than possible for the Tigers to leave Nashville with a loss.


Connecticut vs. North Carolina

I know I am seriously hating on Connecticut, but they can't keep winning. They've already proved me wrong by starting off white hot. However, once again, I'll be picking against them this week. Even with a dinged up QB, I like the Tar Heels to knock the Huskies out of the top 25.


Ohio St. vs. Wisconsin

I really don't think it would be an upset if the Badgers defeated Ohio St. in Madison this week. However, everyone else in America just about is picking the Buckeyes to win this one. So by popular opinion, I guess it would be an upset. I picked the Badgers in this one.

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Possible Lane Kiffin CFB destinations

Tennessee - The Vols are finally fed up with Fulmer. Kiffin would bring a Bruce Pearl type energy to the football program.


Washington - Let's face it, Willingham is done in Seattle. Jim Mora Jr. is no longer available, so Kiffin would be a good choice.


Syracuse - There's SC connections here. Also, the Orange have grabbed from the NFL before.


East Carolina - Somebody's gotta replace Skip Holtz after he takes the Clemson job.


Florida St. - The 'Nole re-nig on their offer to Jimbo Fisher after another god-awful offensive season.

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1-AA teams that would be competitive in 1-A RIGHT NOW.

Appalachian St.
James Madison
McNeese St.
Richmond
Wofford
The Citadel
Delaware

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What the hell's going on with:

Tim Tebow

Tebow has not performed like last year. Blame it on less plays, more of a running attack, or defensive schemes against him. Tebow has not been Tebow-like. He badly overthrew receivers last week, including a wide open Louis Murphy on the final drive. Also, when was the last time you saw Tebow denied on a fourth and short? Never.

What has gotten into:

Colt McCoy

Unlike Tebow, Colt McCoy is playing very Tebow-like. He is getting it done through the air and on the ground. McCoy has his Longhorns looking very good. If they continue to play like this, they should head into Dallas undefeated for their epic clash against the Sooners.

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5 Games to Watch

1. Auburn @ Vanderbilt
2. Ohio St. @ Wisconsin
3. Oregon @ USC
4. Rice @ Tulsa
5. Florida St. @ Miami(FL)

5 Stories to Follow

1. How will Ole Miss, Oregon St., Michigan & Maryland respond after huge wins?
2. Will Tim Tebow live up to his promise of being bad-ass?
3. Will Mark May be able to juggle both USC and Alabama's cock?
4. Will USC lose to Oregon AND remain in the top 10?
5. Will Randy Shannon drown in a pool of his own tears because he refuses to stop crying?
   

"Dream" non-conference match-ups for the the SEC

So I saw something similar to this being done on ESPN for the Big XII. I thought since it worked for that ass fest of a conference it surely will work for the all powerful SEC.

Here is a dream non-conference match-up for each and every SEC team. I even included Vanderbilt, and they're never included. Some of these match-ups are just so awesome that just their mere presence on your TV screen would cause instantaneous retardation.

That's why some of them will never happen......









Florida vs. USC


I've already discussed how exciting of a game I think this will be. Both teams are VERY fast, and both have excellent offenses. I have to admit that USC's defense is in a whole other class when compared to Florida. The Gators secondary scares me against this passing game, but I think the Florida front 7 would be able to handle the Trojans' rushing attack. I think it would be poetic justice if Emmanuel Moody went for a buck and a few touchdowns against his former team. I would probably lose my mind if Tebow went up against Brian Cushing in the open-field. Who else would you think I'd pick in this one? Of course I'm going with the Gators.









Georgia vs. Oklahoma


Both of these teams are popular picks to make the title game this season. Both teams also have Heisman Trophy candidates in Knowshon Moreno of Georgia and Sam Bradford of Oklahoma. Another story I find interesting between these two teams is that Oklahoma is led by former Florida assistant Bob Stoops, while Georgia is led by former Florida St. assistant Mark Richt. It's kind of like a dumbed down version of Florida vs. Florida St. This year this game could almost be considered a toss up. Both teams have a lot of talent on offense, and both have extremely tough defenses. I would give the ultimate edge to the Bulldogs. Especially if this were a bowl game.









LSU vs. Texas


These two top-tier teams continuously battle for high school talent in Louisiana and Texas. This game would enable the two to move this off season battle to the field. Both teams have also won recent BCS championships. Mack Brown and Les Miles are two of the more recognizable coaches in the nation, and both will have their teams ready to play in the one. Almost any other year, I would have favored the Tigers in this one. However, LSU is still searching for a quarterback to distribute the ball to it's talented play-makers. Texas on the other hand, has Colt McCoy back, and he will have the benefit of an experienced line in front of him. I give the Longhorns the nod in this one.








Alabama vs. Notre Dame


This game could be hyped as the delusional bowl. Every year the fan bases for these two teams proclaim how they will once again repeat for a national title and bring their program back to glory. Every year, these same delusional fans are knocked back down to reality after their team struggles through another season. These two programs have both spent time at the top of college football. Recent recruiting classes suggests they might be able to get there once again. However, that year is not this year. Alabama will be more competitive than last year, but I still think the Irish are a year away from making it back to a bowl game. I give this one to the Tide. Tuscaloosa will fall under martial law as their ravenous fans litter the streets because there is absolutely nothing else to do but celebrate a meaningless win.







Tennessee vs. Michigan


This would be an interesting match-up between two proud programs that have fallen on tough times recently. Tennessee is sticking with Phil Fulmer despite growing unrest around the program. Michigan is still suffering embarrassment from last season's loss to Appalachian St. The Wolverines will most likely struggle this season. Their defense is not very good, and they lost nearly their entire offensive production to the NFL. Tennessee has a better defense than Michigan, but they too face a difficult challenge of finding new play-makers on offense. I give the edge to the Vols in this one. Arian Foster should find no difficulty in finding holes in the Wolverine defense. Tennessee's defense will also be tough to move the ball against for Michigan.








Auburn vs. Purdue


I picked these two schools for one particular reason. Both of these schools are better football teams than their more well admired in-state institutions. Auburn has been better than Alabama for a while now. Purdue is undoubtedly better than Notre Dame at this current moment. Yet, both Alabama and Notre Dame still get most of the pub. This game would be pretty exciting to watch. The Boilermakers have a ton of firepower on offense with QB Curtis Painter and RB Kory Sheets. Auburn will be installing the spread under Tony Franklin this season. Overall, I would give this match up to the Tigers. Their defense would eventually be able to stop Purdue's offense and take the victory.

South Carolina vs. Florida St.


It would be awesome to see Steve Spurrier and Bobby Bowden on the same field once again. With Bowden's career winding down, this year would probably be their last opportunity to do so. Of course, being a Gator fan, Spurrier is one of my favorite coaches. Even though I hate Florida St., I actually like Bobby Bowden too. I've said it before, CFB needs Bobby to stay around the game. One last chance to see some visor tosses and hear some daggumits would be a special treat for any college football fan. I actually might have to give the edge to the Noles in this game. It all would depend on which Gamecock team would show up.








Arkansas vs. Louisville


This is a dream match-up for obvious reasons. Bobby Petrino gets a shot at the team he left in the dust. Of course, no matter what happens in this game, there will be one unchanged truth: Bobby Petrino is a straight up douche nozzle. Petrino's bunch will struggle on offense because this team is not currently designed to run his offense. Steve Kragthorpe, on the other hand, will have the Cardinals fired up and ready. I would expect Louisville to win the Petrino bowl.

Kentucky vs. Kansas

Of course both of these schools are better known for their highly respected basketball programs. Both teams have also recently become a lot more competitive on the football field as well. Kansas is returning a ton of offensive firepower, while Kentucky lost a lot of it's weapons. I would expect this game to be very high scoring, even resembling some of their basketball contests. In the end, I would give the advantage to the Jayhawks.

Ole Miss vs. UCLA

I look at Ole Miss and UCLA as pretty much being the same team. Both squads have tons of talent, yet neither team ever produces like they should. Also, both teams are in the first season of a controversial coaching hire. The Rebels welcome in Arkansas outcast Houston Nutt, while the Bruins tagged NCAA bad boy Rick Neuheisel to lead the way for them. Like I said, both teams are loaded with talent, it's just a matter of which coach can get the most out of his team. I give the edge to Houston Nutt and the Rebels. Also, how good would the talent be in the stands at this game. The co-eds at Ole Miss and UCLA are both top-notch. That alone makes this a dream match-up.

Mississippi St. vs. Pittsburgh

This game may not seem like such a good match-p. Neither team is a national powerhouse that attracts a ton of attention. However, this game would feature two of my favorite running backs in Anthony Dixon of Mississippi St. and Pittsburgh's Le Sean McCoy. I would love to see these two go at it, as well as see how each defense stops them. Last year's bowl game between the Bulldogs and UCF was seen by many as being boring. I actually thought the game was extremely intense and fun to watch. I expect this one to be in that same mold. The Panthers might just have too much offensive firepower for Miss. St. to overcome.

Vanderbilt vs. Tulane

This could have easily been a conference match-up. These two schools almost became charter members for the Magnolia Conference. This was supposed to be the Ivy League of the South. Both teams eventually backed out at the last minute. Tulane has seen limited success in the C-USA. However, Vanderbilt has consistently gotten pissed on by the big boys of the SEC. The Dores are the only SEC team that hasn't grown ultra competitive within the conference. I think Vandy would be able to get the win over Tulane. Partly because Bob Toledo has no business coaching college football

What if? SEC/Big Ten challenge.

Over the past few years there has been constant bickering among the SEC and Big Eleven fans over whose conference is better. Personally, I don't see how in the hell Big Eleven fans can even compare their J.V. Douche league to the almighty SEC.



Many of you know that college basketball has a competition between conferences at the beginning of every year. Most notably are the Big Ten/ACC challenge and the Big East/SEC challenge. Well I decided to take a look at what a SEC/Big Ten challenge might look like in football.



Since the Big Eleven is too pussy to add a 12th team, the SEC will have to remove one of theirs. Obviously this would be the bottom feeder team of the league, Vanderbilt. Now that gives both conferences 11 teams. I use the word "teams" loosely because there are certain "teams" in the Big Eleven that are rather dubious.

Here is my rank of the eleven teams from each conference. (This rank is sort of like an average, not how the teams are now.)

SEC

1. LSU
2.Georgia
3.Florida
4.Auburn
5.Tennessee
6.Arkansas
7.South Carolina
8.Alabama
9.Kentucky
10. Mississippi St.
11. Ole Miss

Big Eleven

1.Ohio St.
2.Wisconsin
3.Michigan
4.Penn St.
5.Purdue
6.Iowa
7.Illinois
8.Michigan St.
9.Indiana
10.Northwestern
11.Minnesota

Now it wouldn't be fair to play at one teams home sight. I don't see any Big Eleven team beating Florida, Georgia, LSU or Tennessee at home. Likewise for Ohio St. at home.

So we'll make them all neutral site games.

Here's the matchups we would get.

LSU vs Ohio St.
Winner- LSU. I think this already happened in real life.

Georgia vs Wisconsin
Winner- Wisconsin. The Badgers just have a knack for beating SEC teams.

Florida vs Michigan
Winner- Florida. RR just doesn't have the athletes to run his system yet.

Auburn vs. Penn St.
Winner- Auburn. The Tigers D is just too much for the Lions.

Tennessee vs. Purdue
Winner-Purdue. Tennessee never shows up for big games.

Arkansas vs. Iowa
Winner- Arkansas. Talk to me when Iowa can beat Iowa St.

South Carolina vs. Illinois
Winner-South Carolina. The Zooker will shit his pants when he has to stare down the 'Ol Ball Coach on the opposite sideline.

Alabama vs. Michigan St.
Winner- Alabama. The Spartans will turn the ball over 12 times. By halftime.

Kentucky vs. Indiana
Winner- Kentucky. The Wildcats have too much on Offense for the Hoosiers to handle.

Mississippi St. vs Northwestern
Winner- Northwestern. I'll take an upset here. NU would be able to spread the ball and confuse Sylvester Croom's squad.

Ole Miss vs. Minnesota
Winner- Ole Miss. The Golden Gophers are the worse BCS conference school. FACT!

SO here's the final tally.

SEC- 8 Big Eleven- 3

Just for fun here are all 23 teams in the way I feel they should be ranked coming into THIS season.

1. Georgia
2. Florida
3. Ohio St.
4. Illinois
5. Wisconsin
6. Auburn
7. LSU
8. Michigan St.
9. Alabama
10. South Carolina
11. Tennessee
12. Purdue
13. Penn St.
14. Mississippi St.
15. Michigan
16. Kentucky
17. Indiana
18. Ole Miss
19. Arkansas
20. Vanderbilt
21. Iowa
22. Northwestern
23. Minnesota

I think the best conference by far is the SEC. The Big Eleven is the 4th best behind the SEC, Big XII and PAC-10.

SEC non-conference S.O.S.

Sporting News has been breaking down the BCS teams non-conference schedule. They are ranking each team's non-conference opponents. I found their breakdown of the SEC's teams quite interesting.

Here's how they have them ranked:

1. Florida: Hawaii, Miami, Citadel, at Florida State
2. Tennessee: at UCLA, UAB, Northern Illinois, Wyoming
3. Georgia: Georgia Southern, Central Michigan, at Arizona State, Georgia Tech
4. South Carolina: North Carolina State, Wofford, UAB, at Clemson
5. Auburn: Louisiana-Monroe, Southern Miss, at West Virginia, Tennessee-Martin
6. Ole Miss: Memphis, at Wake Forest, Samford, Louisiana-Monroe
7. Arkansas: Western Illinois, Louisiana-Monroe, at Texas, Tulsa
8. Alabama: vs. Clemson, Tulane, Western Kentucky, Arkansas State
9. Mississippi State: at Louisiana Tech, Southeastern Louisiana, at Georgia Tech, Middle Tennessee.
10. Vanderbilt: at Miami (OH), Rice, Duke, at Wake Forest
11. LSU: Appalachian State, Troy, North Texas, Tulane
12. Kentucky: at Louisville, Norfolk State, Middle Tennessee, Western Kentucky

Some of my thoughts:

• Florida finally plays two non-conference BCS teams. I think Miami should be an annual game for the Gators. Let's bring back the Seminole War Canoe!
• I don't know how they can rank Tennessee ahead of Georgia. Tennessee's top game is against UCLA, which is an underachieving team with a new coach. Georgia plays Arizona St., Central Michigan and Georgia Tech. All of which are just as good if not better than UCLA.
• South Carolina plays a NC State team that is on the upswing and a top 10 power n Clemson.
• Auburn plays possibly the toughest non-conference game at West Virginia.
• Arkansas at Texas is a great old-time match up. Unless Arkansas can get things together the Longhorns should roll.
• If Louisville is as bad as last year, Kentucky may have the easiest non-conference schedule in the nation.

ESPN gets better with addition by subtraction

Bill Curry announced yesterday that he will be leaving the broadcast booth to take over the football program at Georgia St.

All I can say is, thank god! Curry was horrible as a college football analyst for ESPN. Good 'ol Bill has spent the last 11 years verbally ravaging my ear canals as I watched my beloved sport.

College football fans everywhere can thank GSU athletic director Mary McElroy for getting Curry off the airwaves.

Bill Curry has previously ran the Alabama and Kentucky programs into the ground, and he will now get a chance to do the same to a program that hasn't even started playing yet. The Georgia St. Panthers are looking to begin football play in 2010 in the Colonial Athletic league.

I have always likened Bill Curry to John Madden. They are both former coaches that get waaayyy too much credit as analysts. All Madden and Curry do is point out the obvious. Curry always got on my nerves more because he had that damn drawl. I once heard Curry say during a telecast that the team on offense had to try to gain 10 yards in the allotted amount of downs or they would have to punt. Are you serious? You think that is what needs to be done?

I kind of take it as an insult to my intelligence that this ass plunger has been on the air for 11 damn years.

Now we just need for George Mason to start a football program and hire Larry Coker out of the booth. While I actually like Coker as a commentator on ESPNU (the man usually makes good points), I cannot stand his damn voice. Maybe they could have Coker write some material for Andre Ware or Todd Blackledge. Of course this would force Blackledge to NOT mention the fact that he played QB at Penn St. during an entire game.

S.O.S. = SEC is Officially the Shit.

I came across a recent ranking of the ten most difficult schedules this coming season. The rankings were determined by the opponent's winning percentage.

Here were the results:

1.Georgia
2.Florida
3.Arkansas
4.UCLA
5.Alabama
6.Auburn
7.Ohio St.
8.Kentucky
9.Colorado
10.Baylor

Is is any surprise that 6 of the top 10 teams with the toughest schedule reside in the SEC. I hate when people say the SEC gets off by playing weak out of conference teams at home. My response: So what? We deserve the break from the rigorous in-conference schedule.

If SEC teams were in the Big Eleven, where we would have the luxury of playing Northwestern, Minnesota, Michigan St. or Iowa on any given week, then we would go out and find tougher out of conference teams to schedule. Instead we're stuck with the likes of LSU, Georgia, Florida, Auburn, Tennessee or Alabama on any given week.

The SEC is the toughest conference by far. I couldn't care less if they just played their 8 conference games and said to hell with the rest of the schedule.

Spring Conference Breakdowns - SEC East

Over the past few years the SEC has reigned supreme over the college football landscape. Sure there have been a few uprisings from teams like USC, Ohio St, Oklahoma or Texas, but the SEC has remained steadfast as the top conference. There are no off weeks in SEC play. This has never been more true than this year. The two bottom teams from last year; Ole Miss and Vanderbilt, are poised this year to make a run at a bowl.


I will be breaking down every team in the SEC East, and explore their strengths and weaknesses. I have them listed below in the order I expect them to finish the 2008 season.

1. Florida Gators

2007 Recap: 9-4 (5-3) Lost to Michigan 41-35 in the Capital One Bowl.



2008 Preview: The Gators return a bevvy of starters on both sides of the ball. Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow returns at QB. WR's Percy Harvin and Louis Murphy will provide able targets
along with TE Cornelius Ingram for Tebow. On defense the Gators return nearly every starter from
a defense that was often disappointing. Hard hitting S Major Wright will be joined in the secondary
by CB Joe Haden, who proved to be quite a pleasant surprise in his first year on defense.

Florida challenged itself a little more this year with it's non-conference schedule. Replacing the likes

of Western Kentucky and Troy with Hawaii and Miami(FL). The SEC schedule will once again be
difficult to navigate through. Along, with the annual showdown with Georgia, the Gators host LSU
and Ole Miss, as well as travel to Tennessee.

Difference Maker - Percy Harvin. Tebow may get the accolades, but this offense does not go without Harvin.

Biggest Game - Nov. 1 vs. Georgia at Jacksonville. The cocktail party could have national title implications once again.

Intangible - Brandon James and the UF return game has been phenomenal the past two seasons.
Look for James to break open more than one game this year with one of his game-changing run backs.









2. Georgia Bulldogs

2007 Recap - 11-2(6-2) Defeated Hawaii 41-10 in the Sugar Bowl.

2008 Preview: The 'Dawgs are returning a very potent offense for 2008. Matthew Stafford returns at QB and early Heisman favorite Knowshon Moreno makes Georgia on of the more dangerous teams on the ground. Mohammed Massaquoi returns at WR, and as usual UGA will have one of the top O-lines in the SEC. Defensively, Georgia will be solid up front once again with Roderick Battle and Jeremy Lomax at the bookending Jeff Owens and Geno Atkins up the middle. Asher Allen also returns to solidify the secondary.

After two easy Non-conference games against Georgia Southern and Central Michigan, the Bulldogs schedule becomes incredibly difficult. Starting September 13, Georgia plays at South Carolina, at Arizona St., Alabama, Tennessee, Vanderbilt, at LSU, Florida, at Kentucky, at Auburn, Georgia Tech. That's a pretty tough schedule.

Difference Maker- Knowshon Moreno RB.

Biggest Game- Nov. 1 vs. Florida at Jacksonville. Can Knowshon repeat his performance from last year.

Intangible - Last year Mark Richt suddenly became the master motivator. Can he continue to keep his team fired up or will they tire of his act?

3.South Carolina Gamecocks


2007 Recap- 6-6(3-5)


2008 Preview: Needless to say, the Gamecocks were very disappointed in the way in which their 2007 season ended. 4 straight losses and missing a bowl game was not how Steve Spurrier envisioned his season going. A QB controversy is brewing in Columbia heading into Spring. Last year's part-time starter, Chris Smelley is looking to fend off redshirt freshman Stephen Garcia at the position. Whoever wins the job will have a couple of weapons behind him. Mike Davis returns at RB and Kenny McKinley is back at WR. The Gamecocks defense will be their strongest asset in the upcoming season. Jasper Brinkley is back at LB, while Captain Munnerlyn and Carlos Thomas are back in the secondary.

Carolina's schedule is not as tough as last year's. Their toughest non-conference game against NC State is at home, as is most of their SEC contests. The toughest part of the schedule are the last two games when South Carolina travels to both Gainesville and Clemson.

Difference Maker - Jasper Brinkley LB. It's weird to have a defensive team MVP on a Steve Spurrier squad, but that's the case for 2008.

Biggest Game - Sept. 13 v. Georgia. South Carolina needs to start quick this season to erase the memories of the end of last year. Spurrier owns UGA, so this seems to be an early-season must-win.

Intangible - Williams Brice Stadium. I've always thought Columbia doesn't get the credit for being a tough place to play. South Carolina always plays tough at home, and the crowd can get fierce. This year the Gamecocks play NC State, Georgia, LSU, Tennessee and Arkansas at home.




4. Tennessee Volunteers

2007 Recap - 10-4(6-2) Defeated Wisconsin 21-17 in the Outback Bowl.

2008 Preview: The Volunteers head into Spring with an all-out QB controversy. The departure of Erik Ainge leaves Jonathan Crompton, Nick Stephens and B.J. Coleman as the candidates to lead Phil Fulmer's offense. For the first time since I can remember the Vols actually return a solid receiving corps. Austin Rogers and Josh Briscoe both return as targets for whoever becomes QB. There's not much on defense to get excited about with this year's Vols. Eric Berry is back at SS. Other than that, there is much to be desired.

Tennessee has a tough non-conference match-up at UCLA. Hopefully this trip to PAC-10 country than last year's Cal game. Florida comes to Knoxville this year, but Tennessee has to travel to Auburn, Georgia and South Carolina.

Difference Maker - Eric Berry will have to play like an All-American to help out the yet to be proven defense.

Biggest Game - Nov. 1 at South Carolina. If Tennessee gets good play out of it's QB position and from the defense, this game could have serious implications on the SEC East race.

Intangible - Daniel Lincoln. In a conference in which every point counts, having a solid place kicker could mean the difference in a bowl year and Phil Fulmer ending up on the hot seat once again.






5. Vanderbilt Commodores


2007 Recap - 5-7(2-6)

2008 Preview - Chris Nickson is back at QB. Nickson may very well be the most underrated quarterback in the SEC. I've seen Nickson in person and the he has definitely got the talent to take the 'Dores bowling. Also, in case Nickson goes down, Vanderbilt has a solid backup in Mackenzi Adams. The Commodores have always been solid defensively under Bobby Johnson. If the offense is able to improve, Vanderbilt could be considered one of the better turnaround teams of '08.

Vanderbilt has a relatively soft non-conference schedule, which includes a trip to Miami(OH) and visits from Rice and Duke.Vanderbilt also lucks out as LSU and Alabama are not on their schedule this year.

Difference Maker - Chris Nickson. If a play breaks down, he has the ability to make things happen.

Biggest Game - Nov. 22 vs. Tennessee. How do these rivals not close out the season against one another?

Intangible - Jermaine Doster RB. I really don't know if Doster will make any kind of impact this year, but he went to my High School Alma Mater, so I wanted to mention him. His older brother was Kwane Doster, who now has his number 1 painted on the field after his untimely death.




6. Kentucky Wildcats


2007 Recap - 8-5(3-5) Defeated Florida St. 35-28 in the Music City Bowl.

2008 Preview: The Wildcats will have a tough time replacing Andre Woodson and Kennan Burton on offense. Dual threat QB's Curtis Pulley and Mike Hartline will be battling to see who can take over Woodson's spot. Pulley seems to be the early favorite. Dicky Lyons, Jr. is back at the WR position. Lyons always seemed to make the big plays when they were needed most. Look for coach-in-waiting Joker Phillips to establish a more open offense to compete with the rest of the SEC. Kentucky also has to replace All-Everything TE Jacob Tamme from last year's squad.

The Wildcats have an incredibly easy non-conference slate. Kentucky travels to re-building Louisville for their annual match-up, and then welcomes Norfolk St., Middle Tennessee, and Western Kentucky. You'd think Kentucky was a Big-12 team with that schedule. The SEC schedule gets much tougher for the Cats as they travel to Alabama, Florida and Tennessee.

Difference Maker - Dicky Lyons, Jr. His knack for making plays when necessary is something special.

Biggest Game - Oct. 4 at Alabama. The Wildcats will need to open SEC play if they want any kind of chance at a postseason berth.

Intangible- Joker Phillips. The soon-to-be coach is a great play caller. How he will adjust to the departure of Woodson will be key to the Wildcats success.