Weekly Picks

Last Week- 36-18

Last week's results reminded me of the night I lost my virginity. I started out like a rock star. I was the king of the world. Everything I was doing was working and I could do no wrong. Of course, at the end of the night, I was curled up into the fetal position crying like a little baby.

The disappointing home stretch last week won't deter me from making my picks this week. Let's see if I can stay strong like bull throughout.


Ball St. @ Miami(OH)
Temple @ Kent St.
Central Michigan @ Northern Illinois
Buffalo @ Akron
Virginia Tech @ Miami(FL)
Wyoming @ UNLV
Cincinnati @ Louisville
Indiana @ Penn St.
Ohio St. @ Illinois
Rutgers @ South Florida
Northwestern @ Michigan
Duke @ Clemson
Notre Dame @ Navy
Purdue @ Iowa
Texas @ Kansas
Georgia @ Auburn
Middle Tennessee @ Western Kentucky
New Mexico @ Colorado St.
UL-Monroe @ Ole Miss
Toledo @ Western Michigan
Utah St. @ Louisiana Tech
East Carolina @ Southern Miss
UAB @ Tulane
South Carolina @ Florida
North Carolina @ Maryland
BYU @ Air Force
Wake Forest @ NC State
California @ Oregon St.
Minnesota @ Wisconsin
Arizona @ Oregon
Nebraska @ Kansas St.
UL-Lafayette @ Florida Atlantic
Texas A&M @ Baylor
San Jose St. @ Nevada
UCF @ Marshall
Boise St. @ Idaho
New Mexico St. @ Fresno St.
Washington St. @ Arizona St.
Missouri @ Iowa St.
USC @ Stanford
Connecticut @ Syracuse
Mississippi St. @ Alabama
Utah @ San Diego St.
Oklahoma St. @ Colorado
Boston College @ Florida St.
Troy @ LSU
Tulsa @ Houston
Vanderbilt @ Kentucky
SMU @ UTEP
UCLA @ Washington


Upset Alerts

Oregon St. over California - I mainly picked this one because I want the Beavers to win out and take the PAC-10 title. I'd like to see USC bitch about not making the national championship without winning their pitiful conference.

Baylor over Texas A&M - The Aggies are a horrible football team, and Robert Griffin and Baylor are on the come up. I look for Art Briles to coach the Bears to their biggest victory in a long while.

Rutgers over South Florida - Rutgers finally looks to be clicking. This is bad news for a struggling South Florida team.

Michigan over Northwestern - The Wolverines are coming off a pretty big win in Minneapolis. Also, I don't care how bad Michigan is, there's no way Northwestern should be able to walk into the Big House and win.

All Suspended/Dismissed team

If you're a college athlete these days, it seems to be all the rage to go out and make a complete jackass out of yourself. Unfortunately for these morons, a suspension, or in severe cases, a dismissal from the team is a result.

These instances of tomfoolery seem to be more prevalent this year than in the past.

In honor of these grade A dumbasses, I've decided to make a team compiled completely of players that have been suspended or dismissed from their respective teams this upcoming season.


Offense

QB - Ryan Perrilloux - LSU - Dismissed
HB - Lance Smith - Wisconsin - Dismissed
HB - Leon Patton - Kansas St. - Susp. Indefinitely
WR - Josh Jarboe - Oklahoma - Dismissed
WR - JaJaun Spillman - Louisville - Dismissed
WR - Jeremy Childs - Boise St. - Susp. 1 Game
WR - Marques Wade - Arkansas - Susp. 2 Games
OL- Clint Boling - Georgia Tech - Susp. 1 Game
OL - Andy Christensen - Nebraska - Susp. Indefinitely
OL- Tyler Gray - UCLA - Susp. 4 Games
OL - Brandon Davis - Florida St. - Susp. 3 Games


Defense

DL - Brady Smith - Boston College - Dismissed
DL - John Gill - Northwestern - Susp. 1 Game
DL - Kevin Dixon - Nebraska - Dismissed
DL - Phillip Taylor- Penn St. -Dismissed
LB - Darius Dewberry - Georgia - Susp. 2 Games
LB - Jimmy Johns - Alabama - Dismissed
LB - Daniel Brooks - Tennessee - Dismissed
LB - Freddy Burton - Arkansas - Susp. 2 Games
DB - Jamar Hornsby - Florida - Dismissed
DB - Donovan Baldwin - Georgia - Susp. 1 Game
DB - Antonio Wardlow - Tennessee - Dismissed

Special Teams

P - Britton Colquitt - Tennessee - Susp. 5 Games
K - John Barker - Syracuse - Susp. Indefinitely
RS - Preston Parker - Florida St. - Susp. 2 Games

If you give me the guys on the list I guarantee you I will win some games. Of course, my program will be in the shits for letting a bunch of douche bags run wild, but isn't that what football's all about anyway?

What if? SEC/Big Ten challenge.

Over the past few years there has been constant bickering among the SEC and Big Eleven fans over whose conference is better. Personally, I don't see how in the hell Big Eleven fans can even compare their J.V. Douche league to the almighty SEC.



Many of you know that college basketball has a competition between conferences at the beginning of every year. Most notably are the Big Ten/ACC challenge and the Big East/SEC challenge. Well I decided to take a look at what a SEC/Big Ten challenge might look like in football.



Since the Big Eleven is too pussy to add a 12th team, the SEC will have to remove one of theirs. Obviously this would be the bottom feeder team of the league, Vanderbilt. Now that gives both conferences 11 teams. I use the word "teams" loosely because there are certain "teams" in the Big Eleven that are rather dubious.

Here is my rank of the eleven teams from each conference. (This rank is sort of like an average, not how the teams are now.)

SEC

1. LSU
2.Georgia
3.Florida
4.Auburn
5.Tennessee
6.Arkansas
7.South Carolina
8.Alabama
9.Kentucky
10. Mississippi St.
11. Ole Miss

Big Eleven

1.Ohio St.
2.Wisconsin
3.Michigan
4.Penn St.
5.Purdue
6.Iowa
7.Illinois
8.Michigan St.
9.Indiana
10.Northwestern
11.Minnesota

Now it wouldn't be fair to play at one teams home sight. I don't see any Big Eleven team beating Florida, Georgia, LSU or Tennessee at home. Likewise for Ohio St. at home.

So we'll make them all neutral site games.

Here's the matchups we would get.

LSU vs Ohio St.
Winner- LSU. I think this already happened in real life.

Georgia vs Wisconsin
Winner- Wisconsin. The Badgers just have a knack for beating SEC teams.

Florida vs Michigan
Winner- Florida. RR just doesn't have the athletes to run his system yet.

Auburn vs. Penn St.
Winner- Auburn. The Tigers D is just too much for the Lions.

Tennessee vs. Purdue
Winner-Purdue. Tennessee never shows up for big games.

Arkansas vs. Iowa
Winner- Arkansas. Talk to me when Iowa can beat Iowa St.

South Carolina vs. Illinois
Winner-South Carolina. The Zooker will shit his pants when he has to stare down the 'Ol Ball Coach on the opposite sideline.

Alabama vs. Michigan St.
Winner- Alabama. The Spartans will turn the ball over 12 times. By halftime.

Kentucky vs. Indiana
Winner- Kentucky. The Wildcats have too much on Offense for the Hoosiers to handle.

Mississippi St. vs Northwestern
Winner- Northwestern. I'll take an upset here. NU would be able to spread the ball and confuse Sylvester Croom's squad.

Ole Miss vs. Minnesota
Winner- Ole Miss. The Golden Gophers are the worse BCS conference school. FACT!

SO here's the final tally.

SEC- 8 Big Eleven- 3

Just for fun here are all 23 teams in the way I feel they should be ranked coming into THIS season.

1. Georgia
2. Florida
3. Ohio St.
4. Illinois
5. Wisconsin
6. Auburn
7. LSU
8. Michigan St.
9. Alabama
10. South Carolina
11. Tennessee
12. Purdue
13. Penn St.
14. Mississippi St.
15. Michigan
16. Kentucky
17. Indiana
18. Ole Miss
19. Arkansas
20. Vanderbilt
21. Iowa
22. Northwestern
23. Minnesota

I think the best conference by far is the SEC. The Big Eleven is the 4th best behind the SEC, Big XII and PAC-10.

Spring Conference Breakdowns - Big Ten

Big Ten football has taken an image hit over recent years due to their champion Ohio St. Buckeyes getting demolished in back-to-back national championship games. While the Big Ten may be a little over-hyped at times, this year we may see a resurgence in the conference.

I will be breaking down every team from the Big Ten. I have them listed below in the order that I predict them to finish.




1. Ohio St. Buckeyes


2007 Recap - 11-2(7-1) Lost to LSU 38-24 in the BCS National Championship Game.

2008 Preview - The Buckeyes return almost their entire roster from a year ago. That means extremely high expectations in Columbus. Todd Boeckman returns at QB for Ohio St. If Boeckman can put up similar numbers to the ones he put up last year, the Buckeyes should have no trouble breezing through the Big Ten. Super recruit Terrelle Pryor also allows the Buckeyes to install a few gadget plays on offense. Boeckman will have reliable receivers in Brian Hartline and Brian Robiskie to throw the ball to. Chris Wells is also back to stake the claim of being the best running back named Wells in Ohio St. history (and there's been plenty). Ohio St. also returns plenty of talent on the defensive side of the ball. Linebackers James Laurinaitis, Marcus Freeman and Curtis Terry all return. Malcolm Jenkins and Donald Washington also return to patrol the defensive backfield.

Ohio St. warms up for the Big Ten season by traveling to Los Angeles to take on USC in a HUGE non-conference match-up. In Big Ten play, the Buckeyes travel to Wisconsin, Michigan St. and Illinois. They do host Michigan this year to close out the season.

Difference Maker- Chris Wells RB. The Buckeyes are almost unstoppable when they have a solid ground game. Wells gives them a game breaker in the backfield necessary to make it to a third straight title game.

Biggest Game - Sept. 13 @ USC. This game will go a long in way in silencing the critics(including me) that say Ohio St. can dominate the Big Ten but just aren't capable of defeating top tier SEC and PAC-10 teams.

Intangible- As much as I hate the sweater vest, Jim Tressel is one of the best coaches in college football. Tressel may have pulled off his best job last year with an unproven group. With an experienced team returning for Tressel, the ceiling is extremely high.



2. Illinois Fighting Illini


2007 Recap 9-4(6-2) Lost to USC 49-17 in the Rose Bowl

2008 Preview - The Illini return two of the more exciting players in the Big Ten with QB Juice Williams and WR Arrelious Benn. The two hooked up early and often last season and look to continue that trend this season as well. Benn will not be the only target for Williams to throw to as Kyle Hudson is also back in Champaigne. The Illini lost a lot with the departure of all-everything Rashard Mendenhall. Daniel Dufrene will step into the feature back position. Dufrene performed admirably in stints last year as he was providing much-deserved breathers for Mendenhall. On defense, Illinois returns 3 potential all-Big Ten performers in DL Will Davis and DB's Vontae Davis & Dere Hicks.

The Illini open the season with their annual rivalry game vs. Missouri in Kansas City. In Big Ten play, Illinois plays at Penn St., Michigan and Wisconsin, and hosts Ohio St.

Difference Maker- Juice Williams QB. Williams has a tremendous knack for making something out of nothing. A play is never truly broken when Williams is in the game.

Biggest Game- Nov. 15 vs. Ohio St. If the Illini can pull off the upset for the second year in a row, this could be the 2008 Big Ten champs.

Intangible- Arrelious Benn is much like Randy Moss in the sense that, if there is good coverage down field, the QB just has to loft the ball up and Benn will go get it. Having that ability is what makes this offense so dangerous, especially in the Big Ten.



3. Wisconsin Badgers


2007 Recap - 9-4(5-3) Lost to Tennessee 21-17 in the Outback Bowl.


2008 Preview- The bad news for the Badgers is that they must replace starting QB Tyler Donovan. The good news is that whenever a new QB takes over for Wisconsin, he seems to improve upon the previous year's starter. This task falls upon Kansas St. transfer Allan Evridge this year. Evridge is a more gifted athlete than Donovan, howver he will need to show that he is capable of showing maturity and leading this team. One thing that Evridge has going for him is the fact that Wisconsin has 3 running backs that could all be all-conference if they were a feature back on another team. P.J. Hill, Zach Brown and Lance Smith will all carry the ball effectively this season. All Big-Ten TE Travis Beckum returns to help out in the passing game, which would otherwise lack a go-to receiver. Defensively, the Badgers return Mike Newkirk and Matt Shaughnessy to the D-line as well as all Big-Ten linebacker Elijah Hodge.

The Badgers face a rather light non-conference schedule before they open up Big Ten play. With conference games at Michigan and Michigan St. and vs Ohio St., Penn St. and Illinois, they will need the early season break.

Difference Maker- P.J. Hill RB. Of all 3 of Wisconsin's backs, Hill may be the most valuable to his team. Hill plays a major role in both the rushing and passing game for the Badgers.

Biggest Game - Oct 4. vs. Ohio St. See Illinois.

Intangible - Other than at QB, Wisconsin may have the most experienced team in the Big Ten. Look for this to help out the Badgers in tough situation throughout the season.



4. Michigan St. Spartans


2007 Recap - 7-6(3-5) Lost to Boston College 24-21 in the Citrus Bowl

2008 Preview - Michigan St. returns a ton of offensive talent from last year's team. QB Brian Hoyer is back to lead the team in what is hopefully a program changing season. Javon Ringer returns at RB to pose a dangerous receiving threat coming out of the backfield. Hoyer will also Mark Dell and Deon Curry as dependable receiving targets. The Spartans were miserable on defense last season. Coach Mark Dantonio is hoping for better results this season. Look for the MSU secondary to lead the way with CB Kendrell Davis-Clark and SS Otis Wiley.

Michigan St. plays a somewhat difficult non-conference schedule with a game at California and a home date with Notre Dame. The Spartans Big Ten slate includes games at Michigan and Penn St. as well as home contests vs. Ohio St. and Wisconsin.

Difference Maker- Javon Ringer RB. As I have stated earlier, Ringer is just as important in the passing game as he is in the running game. He makes this offense go.

Biggest Game- Oct. 25 @ Michigan. With Michigan re-building and the Spartans hopefully on an up-swing. This year could lead to a few years of MSU supremacy over the Wolverines.

Intangible- Mark Dantonio has brought an intensity to this program that has been lacking in recent years. I look for this football team to feed off of their head coach and improve tremendously on the field.

5. Penn St. Nittany Lions

2007 Recap - 9-4(4-4) Defeated Texas A&M 24-17 in the Alamo Bowl.

2008 Preview- The Nittany Lions must replace QB Anthony Morelli from last year's squad. This could be seen as both a positive and a negative by Penn St. fans. Daryll Clark is the leading candidate to replace Morelli. Although Clark is more athletic, he may not have some of the intangibles that Morelli possessed. Clark will have plenty of help as Penn St. returns a trio of receivers that are as good as any other team's in the conference. Derrick Williams, Jordan Norwood and Deon Butler are all back in Happy Valley. Bruising back Evan Royster also returns to help provide a running game that was missing at times last season. Sean Lee hopes to continue the Linebacker U tradition alive after the departure of Dan Connor. Lee will get help in the secondary from CB Lydell Sargeant and S Anthony Scirrotto. DE Maurice Evans also returns to make the Nittany Lions one of the better defensive units in the Big Ten.

Penn St. host Oregon St. early before opening up conference play. In the Big Ten, Penn St. will play at Wisconsin and Ohio St. as well as Illinois, Michigan and Michigan St. at home.

Difference Maker- Derrick Williams. I say this every year, but THIS will be the year that Derrick Williams breaks lose and shows everyone his talent.

Biggest Game - Sept. 27 vs. Illinois. Penn St. needs to open up Big Ten play in a big way if they want to have a successful season.

Intangible- Penn St.'s receiving corps is extremely deep and experienced. Norwood, Williams and Butler should help ease the transition from Morelli to Clark this season.

6. Michigan Wolverines

2007 Recap - 9-4(6-2) Defeated Florida 41-35 in the Capital One Bowl

2008 Preview - 2008 is a total re-building year for the Wolverines. A new coach, new offense and almost entirely new defense means big changes are ahead for this Michigan program. Chad Henne and Ryan Mallett's departure have left a huge void at the QB position. Steven Threet and David Cone will be battling this Spring to see who becomes the starter. Although neither are exceptionally gifted at running the spread, they should be able to provide adequate play for Rich Rodriguez. Mike Hart's departure left a huge void in the running game as well as the team leadership role. While Brandon Minor and Carlos Brown should be adequate replacements for Hart, it remains to be seen if they can become team leaders. Mario Manningham and Adrian Arrington, last year's top receivers, are gone. This makes way for Greg Mathews and Junior Hemingway to fill the void. Carson Butler does return at TE to help the new QB. The Wolverines were not very good defensively last year. They hope to better this year with the return of some key starters. S Brandon Harrison, CB Morgan Trent and DE's Tim North and Tim Jamison all return for Big Blue.

The new starters will have time to adjust as the Wolverines do not face a tough opponent until Big Ten play starts. In conference, Michigan plays at Penn St. and Ohio St., and they host Wisconsin, Illinois and Michigan St.

Difference Maker- Greg Mathews WR. Michigan has a great tradition at the wideout position. I can't remember a year in which the Wolverines did not have a top-notch guy in the receiving corps. This year, Mathews will have to be the man to step in and live up to the role.

Biggest Game - Nov. 22 @ Ohio St. This series has been all OSU in recent memory. With a re-building year this year, a huge upset over the Buckeyes would mean a great deal for the Rich Rodriguez era in Ann Arbor.

Intangible- Rich Rodriguez will look to install his spread offense at Michigan. If recent history proves anything, it's that the spread offense works very, very well against Big Ten competition. If Rodriguez is able to have any kind of success with his offense this year, the Wolverines may stay in the Big Ten race until season's end.

7. Indiana Hoosiers

2007 Recap - 7-6(3-5) Lost to Oklahoma St. 49-33 in the Insight.Com Bowl

2008 Preview - The Hoosiers are looking to build upon last season in which they were the feel good story of the year. Indiana will have a lot of the pieces necessary to repeat their success. Kellen Lewis is back to handle the duties at QB. Marcus Thigpen returns at RB. Thigpen also plays a pivotal role in IU's passing game. Indiana does need to fill a void at the WR position. Bill Lynch is banking on Ray Fisher, Andrew Means and Brandon Walker-Roby to increase their production. The Hoosiers look to once again be solid on defense. They are anchored by S Austin Thomas.

Indiana plays a favorable non-conference schedule before entering conference play. Within the Big Ten, the Hoosiers will travel to Illinois and Penn St., and will play host to Michigan St. and Wisconsin.

Difference Maker- Kellen Lewis QB. Like Juice Williams of Illinois, Lewis has the ability to make something out of nothing. Lewis also has a strong arm that allows him to get the ball down field while on the run.

Biggest Game- Oct. 18 @Illinois. This could be a battle of the two up and coming teams of the Big Ten.

Intangible- Indiana has struggled for several years to get over the hump and make a bowl game. Now that they have accomplished that, the Hoosiers can set their sights much higher and play with a little more confidence.

8. Purdue Boilermakers

2007 Recap - 8-5(3-5) Defeated Central Michigan 51-48 in the Motor City Bowl.

2008 Preview - Purdue is returning a rather experienced team this season. Curtis Painter will once again be the Boilermakers' QB. Painter will have two reliable backs lining up behind him in Kory Sheets and Jaycen Taylor. Sheets will get most of the work, while Taylor will provide a nice change of pace. WR's Desmond Tardy and Greg Orton will look to add balance to the offense with a steady passing game. Purdue will be solid on defense once again as several key members of last year's squad returns. Up front, DT Alex Magee will help with run support, along with LB Anthony Heygood. In the secondary, S Brandon King and CB David Pender will help defend the passing game.

Unlike a lot of the teams in the Big Ten this season, Purdue will face a tough non-conference schedule. The Boilermakers will host Oregon and play at Notre Dame before beginning Big Ten play. Within the conference, Purdue will play at Ohio St. as well as Michigan St., and will host Penn St. and Michigan.

Difference Maker - Curtis Painter QB. It will Painter's job to make this offense work this season. When he is playing at his best, the Boilermakers are hard to beat.

Biggest Game - Oct. 11 @ Ohio St. Just like everyone else in the Big Ten, a win at Ohio St. could lead to very big things this season.

Intangible - Purdue just may have the hardest hitting defense in the Big Ten this year. If their defense comes out early and starts laying the wood, they can really wear on opponents and affect the outcome of the game.

9. Northwestern Wildcats

2007 Recap - 6-6(3-5)

2008 Recap - Northwestern is returning a ton of talent offensively from last year. QB C.J. Bacher is back to try to lead the Wildcats to a bowl game. Tyrell Sutton is back at RB. Sutton may be the most underrated RB in the Big Ten. He has the ability to break a game open if he receives enough blocking up front. The receiving corps is alos deep with returning wideouts. Ross Lane, Eric Peterman and Andrew Brewer are all back to provide the Wildcats with steady play at the position. Defensively, Northwestern is lead by a trio of hard-hitting players. S Brad Phillips and LB's Malcolm Arrington and Prince Kwateng can play both the run and pass extremely well.

Northwestern will have a chance to ease into Big Ten play with a rather easy non-conference scheduel. In the Big Ten, Northwestern plays at Michigan and hosts Michigan St., Ohio St. and Illinois.

Difference Maker - Tyrell Sutton RB. Sutton has game-breaking ablity, and he'll have to use it to help Northwestern reach a bowl game this season.

Biggest Game - Oct. 18 vs. Purdue. This will be Northwestern's homecoming game this season. A big win over a bowl team can help rejuvenate the Wildcats.

Intangible- This season the Wildcats do not face any real tough opponents on the road. Their toughest away opponent will be at Michigan. With the Wolverines expecting a down year, the Wildcats might be able to pull that one off. Northwestern needs to use this schedule to their advantage and make a bowl game.

10. Iowa Hawkeyes

2007 Recap - 6-6(4-4)

2008 Preview- The Hawkeyes offense seemed to be stagnant at times last season, especially down the stretch. Kirk Ferentz is hoping to reverse that trend this season. He will have to do it with the same QB from last season as Jake Christensen is back to lead the offense. Christensen will have WR's Trey Stross and Derrell Johnson-Koulianos to throw to. At RB, Jevon Pugh will be handling the rushing duties. While Iowa's offense was sputtering late down the stretchm their defense was performing admirably. The Hawkeyes do return several key players from last year's defense. S Brett Greenwood is back in the secondary as DT's Mitch King and Matt Kroul will help stop the run.

Iowa plays a tough non-conference game at Pittsburgh. In the big Ten, Iowa will play at Michigan St. and Illinois. They will host Wisconsin and Penn St. in conference as well.

Difference Maker - Mitch King DT. On a team with a struggling offense, the defense will have to carry the whole team, and defense starts up front.

Biggest Game - Sept. 13 vs. Iowa St. Last year the Hawkeyes were embarassed by their in-state rival. Iowa will need to win to prove that game was just a fluke.

Intangible - On a team in which the defensive front is propably the most important factor in the season's success, it's a good thing the Hawkeyes have an outstanding front four. These guys will need to play superb consitently if they want to improve upon last year's record.

11. Minnesota Golden Gophers

2007 Recap - 1-11(0-8)

2008 Preview - Needless to say, last year was a disappointment for Minnesota. The Golden Gophers were considered by most to be the worst team in the nation last year. Although Tim Brewster did a great job of recruiting this year, the Gophers may still be a year or two away from becoming mildly successful. Adam Weber returns at QB. Weber did show some promise in certain situations last year. His main target will be WR Eric Decker. Minnesota has been known for their running game in the past. This year, Duane Bennett will be in charge of putting together a successful season at the running back position.The only bright spot for Minnesota's defense heading into Spring is their linebacking corps, highlighted by Steve Moore and Steve Davis.

Thankfully, Minnesota does not face any top-tier teams outside of conference play. With the Big Ten, Minnesota plays at Ohio St., Illinois and Wisconsin. They also host Michigan.

Difference Maker - MarQuis Gray QB. Gray is one of the impact players that Brewster recruited this offseason to Minneapolis. Although Gray will not start the season at QB, look for him to add some much needed excitement to this program.

Biggest Game - Nov. 22 vs. Iowa. Minnesota did not win a Big Ten game last year. This might be their best opportunity to do so this year.

Intangible - Youth could be bad for some programs. That is not the case for these Gophers. Their youthful exuberance will help them stay in a few more games this year.