Tuberville Q&A

Thanks to the good 'ol rednecks at auburnsports.com, here is an interview with head redneck in charge, Tommy Tuberville.

AuburnSports.com: The 19 early commitments is by far the most at this time for Auburn. What prompted all these early verbals?

Tuberville: Well, I think it's a combination of a lot of things. For one we have more money o throw at the recruits. I mean, how is someone going to turn that down? Also, what kid would pass up a chance to frequently bang an Auburn co-ed? I know I've been there plenty of times. It's fantastic! We're gonna beat Bama again this year.

AuburnSports.com: Does having two new coordinators, Paul Rhoads - who is from the North where the early commitment trend started - and Tony Franklin - who is very decisive - play a role in the early commitments?

Tuberville: No. I'm the only man that matters around here, so it's all my doing. We're gonna beat Bama again this year.

AuburnSports.com: Explain your evaluation process in offering a prospect.

Tuberville: If he's capable of running the ball, we'll take him. I also have to take into account how easy it will be to fix his transcripts so he will get accepted into college. A lot of high schools have made that very difficult now. We're gonna beat Bama again this year.

AuburnSports.com: Looking at the class now, are there any positions that need to be concentrated on over the next six months?

Tuberville: We're gonna beat Bama again this year.

AuburnSports.com: How is your health coming off of surgery?

Tuberville: Well I'm a little sore to tell you the truth. The doctor said it's always a little awkward to come back from penile reduction surgery. Hopefully, I will make a full recovery so I can get back to those Auburn co-eds we talked about. We're gonna beat Bama again this year.

AuburnSports.com: How much longer do you plan on coaching at Auburn?

Tuberville: I plan on coaching until we lose a game to Bama. Since that doesn't look too likely to happen any time soon, I may end up coaching until I die. Nick Saban is a douche.

The weasel strikes again

Tommy Tuberville loves the rivalry between Auburn and Alabama. He has every reason to. The fact that his Tigers have dominated the Crimson Tide recently has earned Tuberville quite a few bucks.



Recently Tuberville took a goodwill tour in the Middle East with several other prominent coaches (and the Yale football coach for some ungodly reason.) While "over there" Tuberville participated in a 7-on-7 scrimmage. After the game was over, one of the servicemen jokingly asked Tuberville to give Alabama fans the "seven finger salute." This of course is because Auburn is looking to defeat Alabama for the seventh straight year.



Tuberville obliged the young man, and was snapped doing this:

This isn't the first time Tuberville has mocked his in-state rivals. After beating Alabama for the fourth straight time, he walked off the field holding four fingers into the air. The next year, Tuberville was seen waring a shirt that had the words, "Fear The Thumb" on it.

I'm pretty sure most Alabama fans aren't all that upset about this. They are so used to losing in the annual Auburn handing Alabama's Own Ass to Them Bowl (formerly known as the Iron Bowl) that it has become second nature to them. It's like breathing, or mating with their Aunt's.

Alabama will be much improved this season, but Tuberville might look like a prophet after Auburn murks John Parker Wilson and crew this year.