All Suspended/Dismissed team

If you're a college athlete these days, it seems to be all the rage to go out and make a complete jackass out of yourself. Unfortunately for these morons, a suspension, or in severe cases, a dismissal from the team is a result.

These instances of tomfoolery seem to be more prevalent this year than in the past.

In honor of these grade A dumbasses, I've decided to make a team compiled completely of players that have been suspended or dismissed from their respective teams this upcoming season.


Offense

QB - Ryan Perrilloux - LSU - Dismissed
HB - Lance Smith - Wisconsin - Dismissed
HB - Leon Patton - Kansas St. - Susp. Indefinitely
WR - Josh Jarboe - Oklahoma - Dismissed
WR - JaJaun Spillman - Louisville - Dismissed
WR - Jeremy Childs - Boise St. - Susp. 1 Game
WR - Marques Wade - Arkansas - Susp. 2 Games
OL- Clint Boling - Georgia Tech - Susp. 1 Game
OL - Andy Christensen - Nebraska - Susp. Indefinitely
OL- Tyler Gray - UCLA - Susp. 4 Games
OL - Brandon Davis - Florida St. - Susp. 3 Games


Defense

DL - Brady Smith - Boston College - Dismissed
DL - John Gill - Northwestern - Susp. 1 Game
DL - Kevin Dixon - Nebraska - Dismissed
DL - Phillip Taylor- Penn St. -Dismissed
LB - Darius Dewberry - Georgia - Susp. 2 Games
LB - Jimmy Johns - Alabama - Dismissed
LB - Daniel Brooks - Tennessee - Dismissed
LB - Freddy Burton - Arkansas - Susp. 2 Games
DB - Jamar Hornsby - Florida - Dismissed
DB - Donovan Baldwin - Georgia - Susp. 1 Game
DB - Antonio Wardlow - Tennessee - Dismissed

Special Teams

P - Britton Colquitt - Tennessee - Susp. 5 Games
K - John Barker - Syracuse - Susp. Indefinitely
RS - Preston Parker - Florida St. - Susp. 2 Games

If you give me the guys on the list I guarantee you I will win some games. Of course, my program will be in the shits for letting a bunch of douche bags run wild, but isn't that what football's all about anyway?

Countdown: 71 Days!

71 Days

The defending champs will have a much tougher road to the BCS this year. LSU might have one of the more talented teams in the country. Unfortunately for the Tigers, none of that talent is in one of the more important positions on a football team: The QB. After Ryan Perrilloux' early dismissal from the team in the Spring, LSU is left with Freshman Jarrett Lee and Harvard transfer Andrew Hatch to battle for the starting job. Whoever wins the position battle will have perhaps the best receiving corps in the nation to throw to. Brandon LaFell, Demetrius Byrd and Terrance Tolliver will help ease the new QB into the game.

Perrilloux no longer an ass. Now a 'Cock

Ryan Perrilloux has announced that he will be transferring to Jacksonville State, the Fighting Gamecocks of Alabama!

Perrilloux was finally dismissed from LSU after several chances provided by Mr. Miles. (By the way, how does Miles come out looking like a disciplinarian after giving Perrilloux 2323232 chances, while Urban is vilified for giving Hornsby one extra chance?)

After a hard fought recruiting battle between powerhouses Jacksonville St. and Alabama St., Perrilloux went with the Gamecocks, finally putting an end to the biggest recruiting battle the state of Alabama has ever been privileged to witness.

I'm personally more anxious to see how Bobby Reid will do at Texas Southern this season. Reid was the subject of the now infamous Mike Gundy, I'm a man, I'm 40! speech.

Anyway, Jacksonville St. head coach Jack Crowe hopes Perrilloux will learn the system quickly and step right in as the starter. This should be easy because, ironically enough, JSU's starter from last year, Cedric Johnson, was kicked off the team for violating team rules.

I'm sure Perrilloux will have no trouble fitting right in.