Picture of the Day

This picture depicts the friendly rivalry that takes place every year between the two esteemed institutions of the state of Alabama.

Here we see a few gentlemen Auburn fans playfully poking fun at their friendly counterparts. The Iron Bowl is usually a friendly game that consists of great plays, great coaching and overall great douchebaggery.

It's a good thing neither of these teams are really relevant anymore or else this pic would be met with great hostility from the Red Current fans.

I don't know what's worse: The fact that 3 Alabama rednecks dug-up Grandpa Cletus to pull off this stunt, or that some Alabama Menstrual Seepage fans actually paid the $5 to shake what they thought was Bear Bryant's cold dead hand.

People you want to punch in the face

Fans of college football are the most passionate and spirited fans of any sport. They are only rivaled by Europeans and soccer. But since no one in the best country ever cares dick for soccer, college football fans win.



Just like everything else, being passionate and spirited for your team has it's drawbacks. A lot of fan bases take their passion too far and become obnoxious fans. Some fans even pass this phase and move into the realm of fans that you wouldn't stop to piss on if they were on fire and you just drank a gallon of Gatorade obnoxiousness.



It's rather easy to spot the obnoxious fans. They're usually separated from the crowd because even fans of the same team don't want to be around these cock holes. Don't ever try to argue with one of these people because you will never win. Your statement will always be rebutted with a "Yeah but....." type of response.



Also, these fans are very quick to start a fight even for the smallest things. I once had an Iowa fan try to goad me into a fight because I told him Kinnick Stadium was only named so because Nile Kinnick was a war hero after his playing days. These jackass of a fan turned this mild compliment into a call to arms. He tried to heckle me the whole game, while totally ignoring the fact that the Gators were ruining the Hawkeyes shit on the field.



I feel like I need to give you a list of these wad puddles in order to better your chances of escaping an encounter with one.



Ohio St.

Buckeye fans are easily the most obnoxious college football fans in America. They walk around all season long like their shit doesn't stink until their asses get handed to them in the NC. Of course this thrashing is immediately followed with the "Hey at least we got to the title game" remark, That's great and all but since you lost the title game you're in the same position as all the other losers out there. But you don't hear those fans exclaiming how great they are and they're still the best team in the nation. It's like if you're a Bills fan, wouldn't you rather trade in 4 title game appearances for just one with a win? The more obnoxious OSU fans will be walking around all day spelling out O-H-I-O! Expressing their ability to spell a four letter word to anyone within ear shot. I think Ole Miss fans need to jump on this wagon. How cool would it be to hear fans walking around yelling "M-I-Crooked letter-Crooked letter-I-Crooked letter-Crooked letter-I-Humpback-Humpback-I!" That chant would defecate all over any other chant known to man.



Notre Dame

Obnoxious Notre Dame fans walk around like they own the world. I can't really say that I blame them because networks execs and ESPN analysts blow their collective loads whenever Notre Dame football is mentioned in the same sentence. The truth is Notre Dame football is no longer relevant. Their team is garbage and I really don't think they are going to turn it around soon. Most Notre Dame fans don't bother me because they're smart enough to keep their mouths shut when fans of real college football teams are talking. However, there are those annoying Irish fans that walk around praising Charlie Weis for being the greatest man ever to put on a pair of size 62 jeans and walk onto the field. Weis is overrated and the Irish are no longer deserving of their own network.

SEC

For the life of me I will never be able to understand how someone can root for an entire conference. It just makes no sense to me. Don't get me wrong, I love SEC football, bit I do not root for any of it's members blindly just because they have a SEC patch on their shoulders. I am a fan and graduate of the University of Florida not the SEC. The fans that always chant SEC at the end of bowl games kind of make me sick. I hate hearing Florida fans saying, "Well the Gators didn't make it, so I'm gonna root for LSU and Georgia to win their BCS games because they represent the SEC."Wrong. I hate Georgia, Tennessee, Alabama, Auburn and LSU. I will NEVER actively root for any of these teams unless it is a situation that can benefit the Gators. SEC fans, and not individual team fans, need to pick a team and stick to it.

I was going to make this list a little bit longer but I'm getting so pissed off I can't see the screen clearly. So I'm just going to rattle off a few other institutions that should have their fans rounded up and neutered.

Georgia, Tennessee, Florida St., USC, Oklahoma, Iowa, Michigan, and even my Florida brethren.

It's fun to hate someone!

One thing that makes college football so much better than the NFL is the true hatred that comes with the fiercest rivalries. I have been to tailgates at NFL games where fans of the opposing teams were enjoying the company of one another over a couple of shared alcoholic beverages.

This would not be the case in a college atmosphere.

Here's a breakdown of what might occur in both these instances.

Example 1- NFL

Cowboy Fan- "Hey there Eagle fan! How are you? Would you like a beer?"
Eagle Fan- "Yes I would. Boy you guys sure were smart to pick up T.O. after we cut him!"
Cowboy Fan- "Yeah that was a good move, but you guys aren't too bad yourselves. Westbrook is a beast."
Eagle Fan-"Well it should be a good game today, good luck! I hope you guys have fun"

Example 2- College

Georgia Fan- "Hey there Gator fan! Nice jean shorts. I hope Tebow dies from blunt force trauma to the domepiece."
Florida Fan- "Sound of fist meeting the cranial region of said Georgia fan's shit talker"
Georgia Fan- (while gasping for air)- "You guys still suck! I'll see Tebow in hell!"
Florida Fan- (While pissing on Georgia Fan's stiff corpse.) "Larry Munson can suck my pork sword!"

Do you see the differences? These are both actual instances that took place during pre-game tailgating.

I decided to pay a tribute to some of college football's greatest rivalries. Get out your shit-ruining boots and enjoy!

Florida v. Georgia
The game formerly known as the world's largest outdoor cocktail party is played every year in Jacksonville, FL and is annually the site of several college student deaths. Can you imagine if this was a home for home series? Georgia fans in Gainesville? Florida fans in Athens? It would be a suicide mission to cheer for your team while on the road. At least with the neutral site, fans have a better's chance of making it through the game alive.

BYU v. Utah
The game know as the Holy War pit the two main institutions of Mormon Utah against one another. BYU had to add on to Lavell Edwards Stadium to allow fans with all 12 of their wives to attend and enjoy the game. While Urban Meyer was at Utah, he installed BYU urinal cakes in the players' restroom during the week of the game. How badass awesome is that?! I'm on e-bay now looking for Georgia toilet bowl scrubbers!

Florida St. v. Miami
Although both these teams have taken a break from fielding competitive football teams in recent years, this is still one of the more hated rivalries in the nation. When FSU and Miami athletes aren't battling each other to see who can steal the most good from which store, or be caught with the most drugs, they are doing battle on the field. This series brought the phrase "wide right" into the common college football lexicon.

Auburn v. Alabama
The Iron Bowl is considered by many to be the epitome of college football rivalry. Since most Alabamans (or whatever they're called) have no knowledge of the modern world, football is pretty much the only thing they have to look forward to. This game always closes out the season and in the past had decided the SEC Champ. In recent years, however, they could have renamed this game to the Auburn Handing Alabama's Own Ass to Them Bowl out to the Tigers dominance. We'll have to wait and see if the AHAOAtTB trend will continue.

Oregon v. Oregon St.
The Civil War is probably my favorite non-Southern college football rivalry. There always seems to be a strange mist over the stadium when these two teams play. The only thing uglier than the hatred these two teams have for one another is the bright yellow Oregon alternate uniforms.

South Carolina v. Clemson
These two teams do battle every year for the bragging rights of the Palmetto state. This rivalry only got better with the addition of Steve Spurrier and the wild brawl that ended the 2004 game.

Ohio St. v. Michigan
An Ohio St. University can't seem to put together a decent game when it come to the NC. However, they can still pull an App. St. and beat Big Blue every year. There's no sign that this rivalry will reverse into Michigan's favor with the hire of overrated RR to run the program.

Texas v. Oklahoma
The Red River shootout needs to be at the end of the year. Who cares about Oklahoma St. and Texas A&M? Can you imagine how much bigger this game would be if it were played at the end of the year? We're talking Ohio St. v. Michigan and Florida v. Florida St. in the 90's status.

Montana v. Montana St.
I just love the name of this rivalry game. The Brawl of the Wild. That name groin-kicks all other names into oblivion. (Especially the Egg Bowl)