CFB 365 Ultimate Fantasy League

OK. So I hung up the Ol' blogging shoes for a while there. I guess you could call me the Sterling Sharpe of blogging. I came out with a fantastic flurry only to fade down the stretch and call it a career. A very short career. The truth is, running a daily blog by yourself is VERY time consuming and difficult. Even for someone as awesome as me, I just found it not worth the energy. Well, I'm back baby. I won't be making daily updates like in the past. I'll just update whenever I have the free time. Starting now.
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I'm sure most of you have read the ESPN fantasy 40 team college football league. The league consists of 40 teams selected by slack jawed yokels, Schlabachacasdh (or whatever the hell is name is) Forde and Maisel. Well, while reading their horrible excuse for a column, I decided that I could do better than them. I have created an 84 team fantasy league. The leagues consists of 7 conferences. All 6 BCS conferences and the Mountain West.

Now, I have altered the conferences to make sure we get some awesome fake football. Each conference will have 12 teams. There will be two divisions of 6, ensuring that every conference will have a championship game at the end of the season. I have also taking the liberty of moving some teams out of their current conferences into a situation that makes a little more sense.

Each team will play an 11 game season. They will play all 5 of their division opponents as well as one pre-determined intra-division opponent every year. (i.e. Florida v. LSU) Also, each team will play two alternating opponents from the opposite division every year. The other 3 games will be made up of out-of-conference opponents. One will be a pre-determined opponent that they will face every year. These match-ups will either be continuations of long-standing rivalries (i.e. Florida v. Florida St.) or teams that I feel match-up pretty well with each other every year. (i.e. Alabama v. Michigan.) The other 2 out-of-conference games will be determined by me. Each team will play one of these games on the road and the other at home. I have tried my best to make match-ups that are rather intriguing. For example, Florida will play Notre Dame and Ohio St., Texas will play LSU and Auburn, USC will play Virginia Tech and Utah, etc.

There will be a 16 team playoff at the end of the season. All 7 conference winners and 9 at large teams will make the tournament. The first and second round will be played at the home of the higher seed. The "final four" and championship rounds will be played at neutral site venues.

Each week will be played out congruently with the real college football season. Outcomes will be determined by real life factors. Injuries or how a team has played in the real season will effect how the team will do in my league.

I'll post the 7 conferences that I have created, along with schedules at a later date.

At the end of each season, I will assess every team and see which ones should be upgraded or downgraded to a particular conference. Also, I like the idea of relegation. Say one of the 84 teams I pick stinks it up this year, and a team that is consistently decent has a solid year. I will look to replacing said horrible team with said less horrible team.

This might sound somewhat confusing, but trust me, I know what I'm doing.
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Along with these fantasy updates, I'll continue to do my weekly previews and reviews that were big hits in yesteryear. I won't be doing the Heisman watch, weekly picks or rankings anymore. Those just took up waaayyyy too much time. If you're new to CFB365, which I'm sure you are as my grand total of 3 readers probably gave up on me, take the time out to peruse my old articles and find out what this site is all about. Enjoy the season, and please joining my follower list.

People you want to punch in the face

Fans of college football are the most passionate and spirited fans of any sport. They are only rivaled by Europeans and soccer. But since no one in the best country ever cares dick for soccer, college football fans win.



Just like everything else, being passionate and spirited for your team has it's drawbacks. A lot of fan bases take their passion too far and become obnoxious fans. Some fans even pass this phase and move into the realm of fans that you wouldn't stop to piss on if they were on fire and you just drank a gallon of Gatorade obnoxiousness.



It's rather easy to spot the obnoxious fans. They're usually separated from the crowd because even fans of the same team don't want to be around these cock holes. Don't ever try to argue with one of these people because you will never win. Your statement will always be rebutted with a "Yeah but....." type of response.



Also, these fans are very quick to start a fight even for the smallest things. I once had an Iowa fan try to goad me into a fight because I told him Kinnick Stadium was only named so because Nile Kinnick was a war hero after his playing days. These jackass of a fan turned this mild compliment into a call to arms. He tried to heckle me the whole game, while totally ignoring the fact that the Gators were ruining the Hawkeyes shit on the field.



I feel like I need to give you a list of these wad puddles in order to better your chances of escaping an encounter with one.



Ohio St.

Buckeye fans are easily the most obnoxious college football fans in America. They walk around all season long like their shit doesn't stink until their asses get handed to them in the NC. Of course this thrashing is immediately followed with the "Hey at least we got to the title game" remark, That's great and all but since you lost the title game you're in the same position as all the other losers out there. But you don't hear those fans exclaiming how great they are and they're still the best team in the nation. It's like if you're a Bills fan, wouldn't you rather trade in 4 title game appearances for just one with a win? The more obnoxious OSU fans will be walking around all day spelling out O-H-I-O! Expressing their ability to spell a four letter word to anyone within ear shot. I think Ole Miss fans need to jump on this wagon. How cool would it be to hear fans walking around yelling "M-I-Crooked letter-Crooked letter-I-Crooked letter-Crooked letter-I-Humpback-Humpback-I!" That chant would defecate all over any other chant known to man.



Notre Dame

Obnoxious Notre Dame fans walk around like they own the world. I can't really say that I blame them because networks execs and ESPN analysts blow their collective loads whenever Notre Dame football is mentioned in the same sentence. The truth is Notre Dame football is no longer relevant. Their team is garbage and I really don't think they are going to turn it around soon. Most Notre Dame fans don't bother me because they're smart enough to keep their mouths shut when fans of real college football teams are talking. However, there are those annoying Irish fans that walk around praising Charlie Weis for being the greatest man ever to put on a pair of size 62 jeans and walk onto the field. Weis is overrated and the Irish are no longer deserving of their own network.

SEC

For the life of me I will never be able to understand how someone can root for an entire conference. It just makes no sense to me. Don't get me wrong, I love SEC football, bit I do not root for any of it's members blindly just because they have a SEC patch on their shoulders. I am a fan and graduate of the University of Florida not the SEC. The fans that always chant SEC at the end of bowl games kind of make me sick. I hate hearing Florida fans saying, "Well the Gators didn't make it, so I'm gonna root for LSU and Georgia to win their BCS games because they represent the SEC."Wrong. I hate Georgia, Tennessee, Alabama, Auburn and LSU. I will NEVER actively root for any of these teams unless it is a situation that can benefit the Gators. SEC fans, and not individual team fans, need to pick a team and stick to it.

I was going to make this list a little bit longer but I'm getting so pissed off I can't see the screen clearly. So I'm just going to rattle off a few other institutions that should have their fans rounded up and neutered.

Georgia, Tennessee, Florida St., USC, Oklahoma, Iowa, Michigan, and even my Florida brethren.